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  1. 6 points
    Shifty Stranger

    How AA's grow on you

    When you first start out on any AA, you question what you're doing. Like you're like wtf, why is there so much devotion being asked of me. Eventually you get to know everyone better and understand that certain quirks belong to different people. Again we're more than just our avatars though avatars do play a role in how we perceive each other. Like Yoso is more agreeable because of doge, while Strum appears to look like he just goes "kek" and skitters away because his avatar is a robot without legs. Anyway, eventually logging in everyday becomes less like damn it why do all alliances require this and more like right on, we're a hivemind where we sacrifice our first born and consume the remains of the fallen for nutrients to continue the colony. Ayy lmao. I guess the point I'm making is AAs strangely become like the people you know but at the same time don't at all. It's a strange reaction/effect that doesn't make any sense on paper. You won't get into a bar fight and back them up because they're so far out and strangers, but the same time you spend hours for a common goal.
  2. 3 points
    Ƭ̵̬̊

    Gods & Goddesses: Entry #1

    Note: I got bored and decided to cast various alliance members into roles in famous myths, fairy tales, bible stories, etc... it's a bit long so bear with me. Entry #1: The Juniper-Tree It was long ago, in a land that is no longer remembered or mentioned, that a man and his religious wife lived. The couple had wished for children for a very long time but, as if cursed, the wife's body refused to birth a child and their attempts had often resulted in stillbirths. It was due to this that the man's wife had taken to praying fanatically every night in hopes of being blessed and released from her woes through a healthy baby. One night, during her prayers, her finger had been nicked after slicing an apple. Unhappily, she watched as a drop of her blood sunk into the snow beneath her. "If only," she thought. "I could have a child as red as blood and as white as snow." Soon after, the wintry months passed and the lady grew sickly and pale. "If I die," she told her husband. "Please bury me underneath the Juniper-Tree." But, as luck would have it, she recovered after a few passing months and her stomach grew swollen and bloated. By the ninth month, a child who was as red as blood and white as snow appeared and, in her delight, she had died. Before she passed, however, she said one last thing. "Take care of my child for me, @Yosodog," she smiled. "His name shall be @LordStrum." Her loyal husband nodded and, as she went to meet her maker, he took her body and laid her to rest underneath the Juniper-Tree. "I shalt not fail you, @ViKy," he finally said, reminiscing over his wife. It wasn't much later that he grew lonely and, while still devoted to his departed wife and son, he took another wife. @Azoth was a lovely woman who near instantly bore him a child; a daughter to match his son. Azoth, although a kind and caring woman, couldn't stop thinking horrid and sinful thoughts every time she saw her stepson, LordStrum. She was filled with hatred as she thought of how little her daughter would receive and how spoiled and lazy the boy would become. One day, evil consumed her mind and she began to assault the poor child. LordStrum had no place with peace, in his school (the Black Knights Academy) where everyone chided him for his slothful nature, or at home where his step-mother abused him. His step-sister, @Justakittywithabox, was his only solace. Finally, however, Azoth was seemingly overtaken by the devil and placed many apples in a steel chest in the kitchen. As LordStrum came home, his step-mother sweetly spoke to him. "My dear son, would you care to have an apple?" she asked, her voice as saccharine as honey. LordStrum, being not only a slothful but a gluttonous boy, happily replied. He strolled over to the chest and reached inside. His body, being so small, forced him to place half his body and his head in the chest to reach further. Slam! Azoth held a menacing look in her eyes as LordStrum's head cut cleanly off and sat in the chest, blood indistinguishable from the apples. Suddenly fearful of her act, Azoth quickly fled the room, forgetting of her step-son's body. Horror was the only way to describe her expression as her daughter, Justakittywithabox, wandered into the room with distress. "Mother!" she called. "I went into the kitchen and saw LordStrum digging into the chest of apples. I had asked him for one but he didn't answer and, although I saw only his crooked back reaching in, he seemed awfully pale and silent," tears began to drip out of her eyes. "I approached him and shook his body but then his head fell off unto the chest! Mother, I had knocked my brother's head off!" she cried, dropping to her knees. Azoth seemed to be at lost but, at that moment, wicked thoughts haunted her once again. "Justakittywithabox, there's nothing we can do now. We must hide the evidence and make him into black-pudding." Yosodog came home soon after and asked, "where is my son?". Azoth, however, already prepared dinner and answered promptly. "He had gone to visit his uncle, @Curufinwe, across the country." "I feel awfully worried should something go wrong. He should've said goodbye to me first." With that he began to eat and said, "Justakittywithabox, why are you crying? Your brother will come back soon." His face contorted into something of a mixture of wonder and amazement and said, "Azoth, this is a spectacular dish you made! Get me some more!" And the more he ate the more he wanted to have, and he said, "Give me some more, you shall have none of it." And he ate and ate until he had finished the whole. But Justakittywithabox went to her room and took her silk handkerchief, and got all the bones from beneath the table, and tied them up in her silk handkerchief, and carried them outside the door, weeping tears of blood. Then she laid down under the juniper tree on the green grass, and after she had lain down there, she suddenly felt light-hearted and did not cry any more. Then the juniper tree began to stir itself, and the branches parted asunder, and moved together again, just as if someone were rejoicing and clapping his hands. At the same time a mist seemed to arise from the tree, and in the center of this mist it burned like a fire, and a beautiful bird flew out of the fire singing magnificently, and he flew high up in the air, and when he was gone, the juniper tree was just as it had been before, and the handkerchief with the bones was no longer there. Justakittywithabox, however, was as gay and happy as if her brother were still alive. And she went merrily into the house, and sat down to dinner and ate. But the bird flew away and lighted on a goldsmith's house, and began to sing - my mother she killed me, my father he ate me, my sister, little Justakittywithabox, gathered together all my bones, tied them in a silken handkerchief, laid them beneath the juniper tree, kywitt, kywitt, what a beautiful bird am I. @Zoot was sitting in his workshop making a golden chain, when he heard the bird which was sitting singing on his roof, and very beautiful the song seemed to him. He stood up, but as he crossed the threshold he lost one of his slippers. But he went away right up the middle of the street with one shoe on and one sock, he had his apron on, and in one hand he had the golden chain and in the other the pincers, and the sun was shining brightly on the street. Then he went right on and stood still, and said to the bird, "Bird," said he then, "how beautifully you can sing. Sing me that piece again." "No," said LordStrum, "I never sing it twice for nothing. Give me the golden chain, and then I will sing it again for you." "There," said the goldsmith, "there is the golden chain for you, now sing me that song again."Then the bird came and took the golden chain in his right claw, and went and sat in front of the goldsmith, and sang - my mother she killed me, my father he ate me, my sister, little Justakittywithabox, gathered together all my bones, tied them in a silken handkerchief, laid them beneath the juniper tree, kywitt, kywitt, what a beautiful bird am I. Then the bird flew away to a shoemaker, and lighted on his roof and sang - my mother she killed me, my father he ate me, my sister, little Justakittywithabox, gathered together all my bones, tied them in a silken handkerchief, laid them beneath the juniper tree, kywitt, kywitt, what a beautiful bird am I. The shoemaker heard that and ran out of doors in his shirt sleeves, and looked up at his roof, and was forced to hold his hand before his eyes lest the sun should blind him. "Bird," said he, "how beautifully you can sing." Then he called in at his door, "Wife, just come outside, there is a bird, look at that bird, he certainly can sing." Then he called his daughter and children, and apprentices, boys and girls, and they all came up the street and looked at the bird and saw how beautiful he was, and what fine red and green feathers he had, and how like real gold his neck was, and how the eyes in his head shone like stars. "Bird," said the shoemaker, "now sing me that song again." "Nay," said LordStrum, "I do not sing twice for nothing, you must give me something." "Wife," said @Luis, "go to the garret, upon the top shelf there stands a pair of red shoes, bring them down." Then the wife went and brought the shoes. "There, bird," said Luis, "now sing me that piece again." Then the bird came and took the shoes in his left claw, and flew back on the roof, and sang - my mother she killed me, my father he ate me, my sister, little Justakittywithabox, gathered together all my bones, tied them in a silken handkerchief, laid them beneath the juniper tree, kywitt, kywitt, what a beautiful bird am I. and when he had finished his song he flew away. In his right claw he had the chain and in his left the shoes, and he flew far away to a mill, and the mill went, klipp klapp, klipp klapp, klipp klapp, and in the mill sat twenty miller's men hewing a stone, and cutting, hick hack, hick hack, hick hack, and the mill went klipp klapp, klipp klapp'klipp klapp. Then the bird went and sat on a lime-tree which stood in front of the mill, and sang - my mother she killed me, my father he ate me, my sister, little Justakittywithabox, gathered together all my bones, tied them in a silken handkerchief, laid them beneath, the juniper tree, kywitt, kywitt, what a beautiful bird am I. @Erwin Rommel stopped his work and looked at LordStrum. "Bird," said he, "how beautifully you sing. Let me, too, hear that. Sing that once more for me." "Nay," said LordStrum, "I will not sing twice for nothing. Give me the millstone, and then I will sing it again." "Yes," said Rommel, "if it belonged to me only, you should have it." Then the bird came down, and the twenty millers all set to work with a beam and raised the stone up. And the bird stuck his neck through the hole, and put the stone on as if it were a collar, and flew on to the tree again, and sang - my mother she killed me, my father he ate me, my sister, little Justakittywithabox, gathered together all my bones, tied them in a silken handkerchief, laid them beneath the juniper tree, kywitt, kywitt, what a beautiful bird am I. And when he had done singing, he spread his wings, and in his right claw he had the chain, and in his left the shoes, and round his neck the millstone, and he flew far away to his father's house. In the room sat the Yosodog, Azoth, and Justakittywithabox at dinner, and the Yosodog said, "How light-hearted I feel, how happy I am." "Nay," said the Azoth, "I feel so uneasy, just as if a heavy storm were coming." Justakittywithabox, however, sat weeping and weeping, and then came the bird flying, and as it seated itself on the roof Yosodog said, "Ah, I feel so truly happy, and the sun is shining so beautifully outside, I feel just as if I were about to see some old friend again." "Nay," said Azoth, "I feel so anxious, my teeth chatter, and I seem to have fire in my veins." And she tore her stays open, but Justakittywithabox sat in a corner crying, and held her plate before her eyes and cried till it was quite wet. Then the bird sat on the juniper tree, and sang - my mother she killed me, then the mother stopped her ears, and shut her eyes, and would not see or hear, but there was a roaring in her ears like the most violent storm, and her eyes burnt and flashed like lightning - my father he ate me, "Ah, Azoth," said Yosodog, "that is a beautiful bird. He sings so splendidly, and the sun shines so warm, and there is a smell just like cinnamon." My sister, little Justakittywithabox, then Justakittywithabox laid her head on her knees and wept without ceasing, but then Yosodog said, "I am going out, I must see the bird quite close." "Oh, don't go," said Azoth, "I feel as if the whole house were shaking and on fire." But Yosodog went out and looked at the bird. gathered together all my bones, tied them in a silken handkerchief, laid them beneath the juniper tree, kywitt, kywitt, what a beautiful bird am I On this LordStrum let the golden chain fall, and it fell exactly round the man's neck, and so exactly round it that it fitted beautifully. Then he went in and said, "just look what a fine bird that is, and what a handsome golden chain he has given me, and how pretty he is." But Azoth was terrified, and fell down on the floor in the room, and her cap fell off her head. Then sang the bird once more - my mother she killed me. "Would that I were a thousand feet beneath the earth so as not to hear that." My father he ate me, then the woman fell down again as if dead. My sister, little Justakittywithabox, "Ah," said Justakittywithabox, "I too will go out and see if the bird will give me anything," and she went out. Gathered together all my bones, tied them in a silken handkerchief, then he threw down the shoes to her. Laid them beneath the juniper tree, kywitt, kywitt, what a beautiful bird am I. Then she was light-hearted and joyous, and she put on the new red shoes, and danced and leaped into the house. "Ah," said she, "I was so sad when I went out and now I am so light-hearted, that is a splendid bird, he has given me a pair of red shoes." "Well," said Azoth, and sprang to her feet and her hair stood up like flames of fire, "I feel as if the world were coming to an end. I too, will go out and see if my heart feels lighter." And as she went out at the door, crash! LordStrum threw down the millstone on her head, and she was entirely crushed by it. Yosodog and Justakittywithabox heard what had happened and went out, and smoke, flames, and fire were rising from the place, and when that was over, there stood LordStrum and he took his father and Justakittywithabox by the hand, and all three were right glad, and they went into the house to dinner, and ate black-pudding.
  3. 3 points
    Jackywho

    The Origins of BK (Part 1)

    Preface: In commemoration of BK's one year anniversary, I will be releasing a story detailing the origins of BK. None of it is actually factually accurate (you can find the history of BK here: http://politicsandwar.wikia.com/wiki/The_Black_Knights) and is written purely for the fun of it. My brain told me not to release it as there will be a high chance of me getting kicked from the alliance because of this, but hey, ayy lmao. There will be 5 parts altogether, and I will release 1 part every 12 hours-ish. The final 2 parts will be uploaded on the actual day of BK's bday party. Without further ado, here it is! PART 1 Emperor Manas sat on his throne, looking down on his only 2 subjects. Yoso the doge and LordStrum the Koreaboo stood before him. He sighed. How did the kingdom end up like this? Just mere months before the Kingdom of Peace and Butterflies stood strong, a role model for the barbaric nations that populated Orbis. It all changed when the Fire Nation attacked, destroying the kingdom like a hot knife through butter(flies). Now, all he is left with is Yoso and LordStrum, both close to useless pieces of shit. “My brethren” he spoke with a deep voice befitting that of an Emperor. “I am certain that you know as well as I that our Kingdom is in bad shape. This is why I must now… GOD DAMN IT STRUM WOULD YOU STOP THAT?!” LordStrum ceased his fapping and looked to his Emperor. “But my liege, I can’t help it. I’m simply irresistible.” he says as he whipped his long hair back like a shampoo commercial. “Look at me, I’m gorgeous!”, gently caressing his reflection in the mirror that he was fapping to. “Anyway… I am sending you both on a quest. We need men to rebuild our kingdom and revitalise our position within Orbis. Furthermore, you two will also come up with a new name for our Kingdom on your journey. The Kingdom of Peace and Butterflies simply does not pack the same punch it used to have.” “Such quest. Many exciting. Very honorable. Wow.” Yoso replied, bowing deeply before his Emperor. LordStrum gave a small bow, since he couldn’t bend that far while fapping. “Now go! Onwards! God speed! Adios! Have a safe flight! 一路顺风! GTFO! Get yo ass out of the door!” “Alright, alright, we get the message” LordStrum mumbles as he zips up his pants and exited the king’s private bathroom with Yoso. @manas @LordStrum @Yosodog
  4. 2 points
    Nyanro

    Visit Yoitz!

    More coming soon! If you'd like to travel to Yoitz, don't be shy - Nyanro is here to answer all your questions :3
  5. 2 points
    Greetings members of BK, and welcome to Format Police. A place where we can come together and discuss the bad formatting that happens from time to time in BK. The first thing that we will be discussing is Alliance Announcement Terrorism. Far too often do the nations of BK have to log into their nations to see an alliance announcement, only to open it and find that it contains a link to the forums that is in non-hyperlink format. Now let me just come out right now and say this, folks, a link that isn't a hyperlink just isn't a link. It would be like if I posted an image in all binary. Sure, it technically represents an image, but it just isn't an image and why the fuck did I do it? Now, unfortunately, this blog is the Format Police, not the Format Discussion Blog. So I can't just discuss this type of transgression, I must call out the Transgressor. In this case, it is none other than our Emperor, Curufinwe. Just recently, he submitted an alliance announcement titled "Eighth BK Senate Elections" which nothing up a "link" to a forum topic. Unfortunately, this link is nothing but plain text. How can our members trust us to lead the alliance if we can't even provide them with links to click? The Black Knights probably provides more general conveniences to its members than any other alliance out there. We have so many nice scripts and things for signing in, requesting grants and loans, etc. However we then cruelly force our members to COPY AND PASTE A LINK? Just because our in-game alliance HQ is located in Africa does not mean we have to act like we live there. We have hyperlinks here and we should use them. The Format Police is issuing ONE DEMERIT to @Curufinwe. Total demerits will be kept track of at the end of each blog post. If YOU see any formatting transgressions that deserve a demerit, please contact the Format Police immediately. Total Demerits Curufinwe: 1
  6. 2 points
    Turn back now if you don't want to see boobies. The long awaited sql to my best series ever, "The Quest for the Perfect Tits." You can view that thread here. First of all, let's get something out of the way. We in no way discriminate against fake tits. We're simply looking for the pair of tits. It doesn't matter whether or not nature created them or your favorite plastic surgeon, boobs are boobs. We're going to go ahead and take a look at one of the most famous Reddit girls, /u/exilevilify (she also went by unicornblood12). There are a ton of her pictures out there so here's a link to one of the best albums I could find of her. Let's start. This girl was truly bless and apparently, they're real. She posted some gif of her bouncing them around (which I can't find) and it seemed like they were real. However, I'm not expert at fake tits but I'm gonna believe these are real. Here's our first image. As you can see, perky, nipple coloration is amazing, and the nipple size is also right where it should be. She's not even supporting them up at all and they're still holding strong. Fake?????? Don't tell me that or I'll lose hope. Now here we get a bit different lighting. As you can see her tits are fairly veiny, which isn't horrible at all. However, it does deduct a point. Now before you call me a shallow ass hole, you have to remember that this is the quest for the perfect tits. PERFECT. Tits aren't all about just the tits, the surrounding area should also be great. Her body is really good, however it's not perfect. She doesn't have that great curves and she doesn't have that line going down the middle. Not sure what that's called... it's like in the middle of her abs and goes down to her belly button. Here's a full frontal of her body. You're definitely going for the boobs and not the body. Don't get me wrong, good body, but not perfect. Underboob and the camera isn't even under the boob? Yup, pretty good. They really look fake here, but I'm still holding on to hope. In fact, these look like completely different tits but I can assure you they're the same pair. Not a fan of the swimsuit, but I am a fan of the boobs. So let's get to our conclusion. I give this girl a 9.3/10 for her tits. They're perfectly perky, her nipple shape and color are pretty much perfect, though they're really veiny. Unfortunately, someone found out who this girl was and blackmailed her and she hasn't returned to reddit ever since. What a shame. rip in peace exilevilify. And to all the haters out there, fuck youuuuuu Stay tuned, next time we examine pretty good tits. Let's be real, you didn't read anything I typed smh
  7. 2 points
    There once were two men. No one knew who they were. Their names were Jimmy and Strum. Jimmy approached Strum in the scorching desert sun. "Hello traveler, I see that you are in desperate need of some water." Jimmy said with a wise cracked smile on his face. Strum felt that he could do anything himself, and was quite cocky and reserved. "No you dumbshit, I can do anything myself, I don't need your dirty water." Jimmy looked at Strum with a quizzical look. He was quite confused as to why this man in front of him was being such a dickhead. "Is something wrong?" Jimmy asked in a caring tone. "Fuck off, I don't want to talk to you." Strum said in the same rude manner as before. Jimmy put his hand on Strum's shoulder, and at first Strum flinched, but then he started crying. "Tell me what's wrong sonny." Jimmy said with the same gentle caring tone as before. "I have no place to live, I have no money, and I have no wife." Strum said while balling his eyes out, he tried to calm down but it didn't help. "Oh son, those don't matter. Come with me and I will show you the ways of the world. I will make you into a king. You will be loved and revered by most everyone, but you will also be despised and your image will be burned." Jimmy said in a menacing authoritative tone. "What do you mean?" The innocent young Strum questioned. He had wiped most of his tears away and was more curious than he was sad. Jimmy stretched out his hand towards Strum and said, "Come with me and I will make you become the thing that you have always dreamed of. Do you accept my proposal? I will only ask you once." Strum was conflicted. He wanted to have a wife to love, a shelter to reside in and enough money to survive, but the things this man was offering were too good to be true. He decided that anything would be better than his current situation. "Ok, I will go with you, under one condition." Strum said while holding his index finger up. "Yes, what is it?" Old man jimmy said. "You must find a woman for me." Strum said with a smirk on his young shimmering face. "You will have all the women that you can choose from when I have succeeded." Jimmy said, returning the warm smile to Strum. "Alright then, let's go." Strum said happily. Jimmy started walking through the desert and Strum followed. This is where their long journey began and no one knew what was in store for their futures, only time may tell.... TO BE CONTINUED
  8. 2 points
    Ƭ̵̬̊

    The Diplomacy: Entry #1

    This will be a new part of my blog/journal/diary dedicated to my experiences as a foreign diplomat for the $yndicate and Roz Wei! My first impression of Roz Wei is that they're a lovable bunch of xenophobic ayy-lmao haters and Donald Trump lovers. Literally all of them have a Donald Trump post / topic in the P&W official forum. They're not exactly active in the embassy but they're a strong, new alliance filled with people like the infamous Rozalia. They're followers of Divine Right and have a particular obsession for Chinese/Asian dynasties and emperors in contrast to our love for aliens and anime. On the other hand, the $yndicate has primarily two members I particularly adore (one of which I am having a pun-flirting competition with) named Wilhelm the Demented and the other guy who has the Cheshire Cat as his avatar. I envy them for their arcade and have spent more time trying to beat high scores (and succeeding in a game of Snake) against their members. I have proudly secured the #1 position of Snake for the Black Knights (brags, brags, brags). We should have an arcade. I might actually defect to the $yndicate purely for their '80s style arcade. They have cool dropbears as their mascots but aliens definitely beat them in the catchphrase and mascot categories. All in all, I'm loving my new job and I find myself frequenting their forums. TLDR: Roz Wei hates ayy lmao, the $yndicate has a cool arcade that we should have, and I love my job.
  9. 2 points
    Shifty Stranger

    Animorphs

    Science has gone 2 far m8
  10. 2 points
    Shifty Stranger

    Anime is Heresy

    Nuff said.
  11. 1 point
    I just want to start this rant by saying that there are two types of social justice. There’s the social justice that I believe in, then there’s the wrong kind of social justice. If you have a Facebook account (which you most likely do), you’ve probably come across pages like BuzzFeed and AJ+. If you enjoy these pages, stop reading now you panzee. I’ve personally blocked these kinds of pages simply because they were spamming my feed and I was getting tired of their shit. Every time I stopped to look at one of their videos that seemed interesting, it went one of two ways. One way was me saying “Oh, I guess that’s an okay recipe.” The other way was “Who the fuck is running this page? This is trash.” I did you guys a favor and unblocked several pages in order to look up what they’re posting about these days. I can say with utmost certainty I was extremely disappointed. To sum up these pages, I’ll give you one single sentence, because just one sentence is enough for me to describe these pieces of shit. Here it goes: Pages full of anti-wite, anti-male, anti-trump, social justice warrior hippy dippy bullshit speckled with stupid quizzes, mediocre recipes and a bunch of hipster crap. BuzzFeed is a joke! AJ+ is a joke! Daily Mail is a joke! Diply is a joke! Offbeat is a joke! Fucking goddammit! I’m sick of seeing this shit because they cut videos in a way that makes politicians look bad, they manipulate everyone into thinking white males are garbage, their quizzes are written by morons, half their posts don’t mean a goddamn thing and their lists are so fucking redundant! Half of these pages consider themselves “news” when in reality it’s just an outlet for idiots and hipsters to band together and support the weak-minded shitfaces that are as easily entertained as 2-year-olds. We’re being overrun by political correctness and shitty sources of entertainment! Not to mention that Canada has the most politically correct Prime Minister it's ever had who allowed M-103 to happen! Now it’s illegal for me to say that I have a problem with Islam as an organized religion! I have a fucking problem with every organized religion! There are so many holes in religion it looks like swiss fucking cheese! Anyway, back to the matter at hand. I mentioned at the beginning of the rant that I believe in social justice. Yes, that’s true. I believe in equality between all people. I don’t specify any one sex or race, I simply hate everybody equally. Because everyone sucks, be it one way or another. I know I suck, but that’s why I’m better than a lot of people. I know my weaknesses. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m an asshole. Look, I believe in that people run this world and people make money and money makes the world go ‘round. Sad to say it, but it’s true. If you have no money, you have close to no chance of being successful. That’s how this works. It’s been that way for a long time. Well, a long time relevant to the evolution of humans. The creation of currency fucked us over. And because I believe this, people call me pessimistic or a dick. But I’m getting off topic again. I took a long look at the Daily Mail, a source of news that was once respectable. I’ll go ahead and read one of their headlines to you. “Megan Gale shares first pic of growing baby bump”. Not enough cringe for you? Okay. Here’s another. “Kim transforms into Virgin Mary for new kimoji (but fans aren’t happy)”. Oh, how about this piece of important news? “Kim Kardashian wriggles around in skimpy bikini in very sultry video”. “Popping out! Ireland Baldwin suffers nip slip in skimpy thong bikini”. I’m not making this shit up! This is real! This is what the Daily Mail is posting! You know what I have to say about this? Who the fuck cares?! Celebrity news isn’t news! It’s dumb gossip that should be kept off news pages! If the Daily Mail stopped posting this crap, they might turn out to be respectable again! I bet their motto is “Daily Mail: Where you can see Kim’s bikini next to an article of a police shooting”. Actually, that’s catchy. I like it. Someone do me a favor and contact the Daily Mail. I bet they’d like to hear feedback from me. Maybe I can be a writer for them. First article: “Fuck everyone. Everyone fucking sucks and I'm looking to get a quick paycheck for writing a shitty article”. Yep. I’d fit right in. Well, I’m getting tired of writing about this shit, so I’ll just add one more thing in. Quizzes. Quizzes are the bane of my fucking existence. They’re poorly put together, they’re filled with ads, they’re a cheap way for pages to post on your page because people don’t know about privacy settings and restrictions, and they’re the dumbest thing since the song “Sugar, sugar” by the Archies. You can’t guess my age based on your dirt simple history questions. You can’t determine my education level based on what foods I eat. I don’t want to know what celebrity I look like. And I certainly don’t want to know what superhero I’d be based on my colour preference! Fuck! Fucking fuckers! How does this happen?! How does social media get this bad?! How are people entertained by this shit?! It’s just a bunch of failing writers and high school dropouts writing shitty articles and quizzes for a quick buck! They’re not talented! They’re not smart! They’re fucking flannel-lumberjack-wearing, smoothie-cocktail-drinking, gym-selfie-enthusiast fucks! Fuck this! What the fuck?! Well, thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed me freaking the fuck out. Do you agree or disagree? Let me know. Cool, cya.
  12. 1 point
    WITH THIS INVENTION, CRITICS HAVE BEEN SILENCED. THE WORLD IS IN AWE! New York Times: "...THIS INVENTION CHANGES THE WORLD[...]WAY MORE IMPORTANT INVENTION THAN THE PRINTING PRESS OF GUTENBERG OR THE INTERNET..." Karls independent not influenced by Karl or anything like that Steelplane magazin journal: What a great feat of Karls engineering! *inseret important newspaper here* : *insert something that praises steelplanes here* WSJ: "Karl: "More impressive feats of technological advancement will follow! " (1)
  13. 1 point
    Yosodog

    Statistics Download

    I started collecting stats of the top 20 alliances a few days ago, and today started to collect stats for all BK nations. I wanted a way to easily download them and I figured why not let everyone download them. On the top of the forums where the navigation is (where forums, standards, etc) are, there's a new link called "Stats". If you click that, it'll bring you to a simple page to download either the top 20 alliances or BK nations. It'll download the file in a .txt so you can use is pretty much anywhere. The downloads are updated at 3:30 EDT (2:30 in-game time) The data is separated by a tab. I'll tell you quickly how to import this data into Excel or Google Sheets. Excel Download the fileIn Excel, go over to the "Data" tabSelect "From Text"Browse and find the .txt file that you want to importMake sure "Delimited" is selected. It should be selected by defaultSelect NextFor Delimiters, make sure "Tab" is selected, nothing elseClick "Finish"Select where you want to start to paste the data. (Usually A1)Click OK.(You can also click and drag the file into Excel and it'll work) Google Sheets Go to File -> ImportNavigate to "Upload" and browse for the .txt fileSelect whichever options you like. Personally, I like "Insert new sheet(s)"For the Separator, select "Tab"Click ImportAs someone who loves spreadsheets and because there's no easy way to download stats in this game, I would be in love with this. Let me know if something's wrong or you think something should be added.
  14. 1 point
    Amaryllis

    Guess

    A/N: Yeah screw my original idea for this blog. I even forgot I had this thing. So now I decided to try something new like making short stories on random things. One day like today it'll be based off a childhood memory of one of my pathfinder characters. Another it might be a little tidbit of history involving the goat people. And it might just be something out of nowhere. If any requests let me know, I'll even keep you anonymous...if you give me Mountain Dew Anyway here you go, as said this one will be based on one of my pathfinder characters: my half-drow cleric of Eilistaree Maddela. Originally it would have been Reda, my half-elf hunter who's possibly bisexual, but I decided nah. Also while we used pathfinder rules, we used a DnD setting. Enjoy. Guess "Have you found him?" Ilvaria asked in a soft tone. Volundeil shook her head, a tired frown across her dark face. The answer was no surprise to the cleric who shook her head and turned on her heels to hear to the nursery. "He's clever, no doubt. And definitely swift to manage to get ahead of us." Volundeil said as she followed her friend. "It became easy for him when he does not have the burden of carrying an infant with him." "Is that anger in your voice, Ilvaria?" "Is it not obvious?" Lowering her voice just a bit more, Ilvaria pushed open the door to the nursery, "Would you not be upset over seeing a man just leave his child?" Ilvaria recalled the day the man came to the Promenade. The Sword Dancers had to practically hold him up while they also held the infant. His eyes were sad but also determined as she helped to tend to his many injuries, speaking more than he ever did which was never. The infant who was nameless in the beginning spoke more than he did even if it was only babbling. Ilvaria could have respected that. Being a cleric who had always dealt with the newcomers that the Sword Dancers brought in, she had learned to understand that silence was, for a lot of them, the one thing that kept him alive. This was especially so if they were freed from the bondage that came with being under a follower of Lolth. She had respected his silence even more when the Sword Dancers who had gave her a theory for his fleeing. Even the most well trained drow could only so much trauma. "He would have been safe here." Ilvaria said more to herself as she stepped into the room and to the crib. The infant - Maddela - slept peacefully, "And if he didn't feel safe here why leave her here then." Arrangements for both him and the baby were being made. Once his injuries had been completely healed he would have been given a place to stay and a chance to fully turn what the Dark Maiden wanted which was to lead Drow to the light of the surface world and build bridges with other races. Considering the infant he came with was half-drow and his possible story of how he came to the Promenade, it wouldn't have been too hard. But then he left. The only thing left by him was a piece of paper with the infant's name. Ilvaria picked up Maddela and held her close to her chest as a slight smile came across her face. She had been unharmed when brought in, a blessing from the Dark Maiden herself. No doubt it was difficult for the man to keep her safe while on the run from a band of determined and vengeful drow. When he left, Ilvaria had volunteered to care for the infant until her father was found. If he wasn't, she intended to adopt her. "Do you think I can give my guess?" Volundeil asked. The smile turned into a frown and Ilvaria turned on her heels to her friend, "And what guess could you have to justify his actions?" "As we searched for him, we nearly had run ins with the party that was sent to hunt him down. Apparently they're relentless but if our observations are correct they're heading away from the Promenade. Why lead away from this place unless your target is heading the other way. What better way to guarantee the safety of your daughter than by leading the threat away from her?" Silence came into the room for a few seconds. Volundeil's expression was soft despite the serious question she asked a few moments ago. Ilvaria thought it didn't match. "Then why not tell us what he was doing?" "Would you let him do it or would you expect someone else to let him do it," Volundeil didn't give her time to answer, "What I am saying is simply a guess and definitely something for you to think. Ask Eilistaree for your guidance on this when you pray tonight because I think you need it." Maddela shuffled in Ilvaria's arms and let out a little whine. Ilvaria looked down and saw she had opened her eyes a bit, revealing red eyes that were unusual for a half-drow but not non-existant. Definitely made her unique. "I will let you tend to her, but please think about what I said." Volundeil bowed her head in respect as she slowly backed out of the nursery. Ilvaria rocked Maddela as she whined again and made her face scrunch up. Signing, Ilvaria nodded to her friend, "I will. After all guesses can be wrong." And sometimes they could be right and if that was the case, she asked Eilistaree to forgive her.
  15. 1 point
    LordStrum

    I WAS TRIGGERED

    [5:38pm] Zoot: Since Strum won't be a hard ass. IF YOU FUCKING WASTE YOUR SPY OPS ON THAT MENSA SPY SHIT WHILE WE'RE AT WAR I'LL HAVE YOU THROWN OUT SO FAST THE DOOR WON'T HIT YOU IN THE ASS, IT'LL HIT YOU IN THE FACE! [5:38pm] LordStrum: I thought that was implied zoot [5:38pm] LordStrum: come on :v [5:38pm] LordStrum: also >implying I'm not a hard ass [5:38pm] LordStrum: do you even read my hate speeches [5:38pm] Zoot: You mean your emo whining? [5:39pm] LordStrum: damn [5:39pm] LordStrum: DAMN [5:39pm] LordStrum: DAMN [5:39pm] LordStrum: i'm hurt [5:39pm] LordStrum: time to go make a blog post about it #strumislove #strumislife
  16. 1 point
  17. 1 point
    Ƭ̵̬̊

    The Day that Shifty Left

    This is a catch-up entry for @Shifty Stranger about all that happened on the day he left. But he came back! :DDDD -> @Zoot almost destroyed the Propaganda department by merging it with another group. (see also: Zoot turns the Propaganda Department into a greedy, money-laundering corporation and a vote we had to decide if Sparta was actively poaching our members) -> @Erwin Rommel tried to take your throne. -> The Senate was figuring out how to handle this (jk, we did nothing), @Techcraft2 made a conspiracy theory, @jimmyvbuck complimented you for the first time that he has ever complimented anyone, @Yosodog officially declared you to be deceased, @Mr. Flubb quoted Shakespeare for you, @Infice made the first post showing your revival, and the chatbox was flooded!
  18. 1 point
    Ƭ̵̬̊

    Entry #3: Bloodthirst

    It all began in BK University on the last class before graduation. I had loved peace and fluffy, cute things (evidence here: https://politicsandwar.com/nation/id=38502) until I was tasked to do the very thing I promised not to do: raid another nation. It was something I wanted to delay at first, giving the excuse of waiting for time to run out on beige and tried to stall by crossing my fingers. I, however, knew that if I was to stay and spend time with you lovely Black Knights then I must sacrifice my innocence and do the unspeakable. And I did. I first targeted an inactive, low-target nation to just finish the dirty work and never look back. So that no one would even notice the unforgivable crime I had committed (perpetrated raid here: https://politicsandwar.com/nation/war/timeline/war=117463). It felt terrible, picking on a defenseless nation. However, as the days passed, I noticed how little money I made and how much that one, simple raid had given me. I grew greedy and decided to do it just one more time as I had wanted to contribute to the Black KAT's less funded ideas (second raid here: https://politicsandwar.com/nation/war/timeline/war=117750). Within minutes, I became even more bloodthirsty after launching successful attacks. I felt arrogant and wanted more and more. I invaded another. I learned of the 5 aggressive war limit within seconds. I started to care less of how much I hurt them and began to target more active nations. It eventually led to this: Date Aggressor Defender Action/Status 05/23/2016 10:40 PM Bellatulus Lyre Black Knights Tundres Dylan Doklin The lone wolf Military Action Points: 2 Select ActionGround BattleAirstrikeNaval BattleLaunch MissileNuclear AttackEspionageOffer PeaceTimeline 05/23/2016 05:02 PM Bellatulus Lyre Black Knights Dictatorshipville Ville De Dictature Gudvin Wraak Military Action Points: 1 Select ActionGround BattleAirstrikeNaval BattleLaunch MissileNuclear AttackEspionageOffer PeaceTimeline 05/23/2016 04:11 PM Vape nation yall Go Green Cow Chop Applicant Bellatulus Lyre Black Knights Military Action Points: 0 Select ActionGround BattleAirstrikeNaval BattleLaunch MissileNuclear AttackEspionageOffer PeaceTimeline 05/23/2016 03:54 PM Bellatulus Lyre Black Knights Vekaslavia Zeshka Gradnav Nations of Europe Coalition Military Action Points: 1 Select ActionGround BattleAirstrikeNaval BattleLaunch MissileNuclear AttackEspionageOffer PeaceTimeline 05/23/2016 03:51 PM Bellatulus Lyre Black Knights Gudvin Weasel Gudvin Wraak Military Action Points: 2 Select ActionGround BattleAirstrikeNaval BattleLaunch MissileNuclear AttackEspionageOffer PeaceTimeline 05/23/2016 03:43 PM Bellatulus Lyre Black Knights KillEthon Rome KEN Military Action Points: 2 Select ActionGround BattleAirstrikeNaval BattleLaunch MissileNuclear AttackEspionageOffer PeaceTimeline 05/22/2016 02:29 PM Bellatulus Lyre Black Knights Seleucid Empire Antiochus III Hellenistic League Victory Timeline 05/22/2016 02:22 PM Bellatulus Lyre Black Knights Republik Sumatera Sukarno Joko Alliance of Kingstown Applicant Victory Timeline 05/22/2016 02:15 PM Bellatulus Lyre Black Knights Korsovano Mikhali Stalin North Russian Oil Fields Alliance Victory Timeline 05/21/2016 12:50 PM Bellatulus Lyre Black Knights Djanet Speznaskui None Victory Timeline 05/21/2016 12:44 PM Bellatulus Lyre Black Knights Republic of Taiwan Eliyahu Ezra Republic of Taiwan Victory Timeline 05/19/2016 11:50 PM Bellatulus Lyre Black Knights Nexus Nicholai Libertarian Anarchist Nexus Victory Timeline I started to target nations specifically in alliance, checking treaties, protections, members, etc... I destroyed all my resource production for military and changed my 'Fortress' policy into one of 'Attrition' not to gain money but to deal more infrastructure damage and hurt my enemies more. I became more aggressive and defensive, even thinking of turning my nation from a production-based, trading country into a militaristic fiend. It all happened in the course of five days. I hadn't noticed until I upgraded my infrastructure twenty billion times in order to gain more military production... My military, previously less than 10% of my total points, became a fourth of it. I have a thousand targets in my dossier to invade... my bloodthirst is growing Finally, the message the hit the nail on the head: From: Mikhali Stalin Date: 05/24/2016 Tuesday 12:42 am I [email protected]#$IN HATE YOU AND WILL [email protected]#$IN PARE YOU THEN [email protected]#$IN KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP TLDR; STOP FORCING PEOPLE TO RAID IN BKU. IT'S TURNING PEOPLE INTO PSYCHOTIC MASS MURDERERS
  19. 1 point
    Ladies can also wow their man:
  20. 1 point
  21. 1 point
    Ƭ̵̬̊

    Entry #1: Desomorphine

    I have no idea what to write about so I decided to teach you guys, my dear readers, on how to make a drug called Krokodil. I'm mostly doing this because I'm depressed that my p̸̷̣̯̃̓̅͢r̘͔̣ͭ̏͑ỏ̱͓̖̊ͮ̾́m̖̱̬̘͍̖͍̗̀ͥ͛ͬ̚i̦̤͍̥̜̟̘ͫ̇ͬ͋̒̈́͛ͬ̽͞s̷͖̯̱̻̤̱̭͑̅̋͌ͭe̲̱̼͉̯̺̬̔ͮ͑͆͌̌̚s̻̞̱͕̗̠̥̱͖̒̎̉͗ͦ̃ͯ͜͡ ̳͚̫̤̥̾ͬ̿͂t̗̗̗̑̀̚͠ǒ̧̤̫̭̭̲̆̾̑͟ ̠͈͋͌̓͋̈̉̿̋̀e̳̠̙̤̝̣͚̾̽̾̓̚n̡̟̳͓̓ͣ̍̓̽ͪ͟ͅd̨̥͚͖̍͡ͅ ̧̢͇̮͙̑͊͆y̬̤̗͔̯͓̭̬̿̌̋̋̈͗́ỏ̷̸̼̻̻̳̼̣̒͌ͯ̇͜u̯͊̌ͤ̿ͨ̈́ͬͤ̓ŗ̠̣͇̥̼̄͆̄̀ͧ͡ ̶̤̗̞͔̥̝͆͛́p̢̜̼͚̤͋̉͐̍ͯ̃aͤ͛͊ͣ͊҉̧̧͎̺͙̤̬tͨ̂ͣ̀ͩ́͏̪͔͞h̛̩͉̥̹̲̄ͫ̽̾̍ͮ̍e̞̜ͭ̒̃̅̓̃͌̒̚͢t̴̸̡̹̜̫̖̟̟̯ͪ͗̄̂͐ͮͅi̸͇͖̳̓ͮ̏̊ͣ̄ͫ͊͑c̸̴̙̟̘͋̎̇̇̊͌ͪ̀ͅ ̛̟̱̜̱̱̽ͦ̋̂ͯͭl̵̪̖͖͕͐̊̇i̐̌҉̷̯̥̦̩͍v̳͓̝̣̈̍̆̈́ͤͤ̍ͯe͍̹̥̠̺̱̊ͫͦ̇ͫ́s̻̩͖̺ͧ̿̕ have not phased you suicidal lot into joining the Death Match. As of such, I am hoping that you will overdose on desomorphine to fulfill my promise. Hopefully, most of you will be dead within a year. The first step into making Krokodil is codeine, which is obtained through simple pharmaceutical medicines you can get over-the-counter or with a prescription (e.g. cough syrup). You just need some paint thinner (which kills brain cells), gasoline, hydrochloric acid (which is everywhere from medicine cabinets to food preservatives), iodine (also in pharmacies), and red phosphorous (which you can get from match strike pads). It's extremely easy and cheap to make Krokodil, taking 30 minutes for a 90 minutes average high. Restrictions have been placed in Russia due to the high Krokodil use in that particular country but hasn't strongly affected any other country. It causes flesh to rot off the body and make you end up like this: This is depressed diary entry #1. It's simple to make and all you have to do is get the ingredients and make it. I expect you all to be rotting, shambling corpses within a year. Now, let me go cry in my closet.
  22. 1 point
    Welcome to the daily dairy entries. I am feeling depressed today so I will put up some depressing stuff. This is automated from yesterday since, on Saturday, I have job training. Today's topic is the gruesome effect of war. Namely, this: The citizens you have in your fictional nation are soldiers who go to war and raid. They die in gruesome fashion and, every time a bomb goes off or your land is attacked, innocent children die as they run away with melting skin and flesh. As disease in your cities run rampant, bodies are burnt, the ill are shunned and left to die, people die painfully, and suffering is always there. The cosmetic taxes? You are taking the livelihood of your people to support a dictatorship. Your baseball team ages and dies but you remain an immortal tyrant with no democracy, no elections, no freedom. Your people never vote and you never hear their voice because they don't have a voice. When your crime rate is up, imagine all the people there being murdered, raped, and brutalized in the worst way possible. You are a murderer.
  23. 1 point
    Three days had past since Strum accepted the proposal that would change his life forever. Jimmy and Strum were walking through the seemingly endless desert, and they were running out of supplies. "Where the hell are we headed?" Strum said while panting and impatient. "You will see in due time, son. In due time." Jimmy replied, while also panting. Jimmy reached into his travel sack and pulled out his canteen. He opened the lid and hovered it over his dry lips. One single drop came out. Jimmy had a panicked look on his face because he knew that if they didn't find a water spout soon, they would perish. Jimmy and Strum climbed over a desert mound and saw grass and shimmering lights. Both of the men's faces light up with pure joy. "Is that what I think it is!" Exclaimed Strum. "It looks like a city to me" Said Jimmy while concealing his happiness. Strum started running towards the city and old man Jimmy followed. The doors to the settlement were wide open, they appeared to be welcoming any travelers and merchants. The two men looked around and spotted a sleek young man holding some gold coins. Strum walked up to the man while Jimmy stayed behind. "Hello sir, do you have any water?" Strum said, obviously desperate for the need of the lovely clear nectar. "Hello, my name is Psweet, but unfortunately I do not have any water, but I can offer you a loan of 100 gold coins." Said the mysterious sleek man. Strum's eyes lit up, but he knew he didn't have a job and he would surely not be able to pay such a hefty price back. "What's the catch?" replied Strum. "There is no catch sir, I just want to help out a fellow traveler. The only catch is, if you can't pay it back I will execute you." Replied Psweet with a large demonic smirk on his face.Jimmy eavesdropped on the conversation and whispered into Strum's ear, "Do it, I will find a way to pay him back." Strum accepted the money and started walking with Jimmy down the large settlement. First they stopped at a tavern and got drunk, then they found a brothel and entered it. The man at the door was rugged and mean looking. "My name's Quasar, how may I help you fine gentleman tonight?" Strum mumbled something incomprehensible and Jimmy didn't say a word. "I've got just the right thing for you!" Exclaimed Quasar. He then brought out a Korean woman. "Her name is Taeyeon. She likes you, she's only five gold coins for tonight. The best part about her is that she has such a nice singing voice that you will cum when you hear it!" Said the perverted looking Quasar Strum handed over the coins and also paid for Jimmy's whore, who he entered one of the rooms with. Taeyeon grabbed Strum by the hand and pulled her into one of the rooms. She pushed him down on the bed and started pulling down his trousers. Strum was a virgin and was very hesitant in having sex. "Wait!" Strum yelled, petrified. Taeyeon took her hands off of Strum. She was rather confused at why he yelled at her. "Sing for me." Strum said wanting to preserve his virginity. "당신은 정말 당신을 사랑 해요 , 너무 잘 생긴 입니다. 내 남편 과 나는 당신에게 아이를 부여합니다 바랍니다 . 나는 칠년 여기 갇혀 있다 , 나는 매 순간 싫어. 나의 용감한 사람이 저를 데려가" Sang Taeyeon. Strum did not cum to her voice but he did fall in love with her after the first words came out of her mouth. "I think I love you.." Strum said with a blushed face. Taeyeon couldn't speak very good English but she understood it very well. She jumped on Strum and kissed him on the lips. "Take me away please. I love you too." Taeyeon said happily. Strum left the room without Taeyeon and walked into Jimmy's room. "AH! AH! AH! AH!" The brunette exclaimed while bouncing up and down on Jimmy's dick. Strum walked over to Jimmy and noticed he was passed out. "What the fuck?" Strum slapped Jimmy. "huh, huh, what?" Jimmy said as he awoke out of his slumber. Jimmy looked up at the girl that was riding his dick. "What the fuck?" he said. Jimmy pushed her off of his dick and she hit her head against a table and cracked her skull open. Strum and Jimmy were both petrified. "We need to get out of here now!" Jimmy yelled. He pulled Strum by the shirt and pulled him out of the room and into the hallway of the brothel. "Wait! I need to grab something" Strum yelled with distress. "Hurry the fuck up, I don't want to be executed for murder!" Jimmy replied. Strum walked into one of the rooms and took a Korean girl with him. "Why the hell are you bringing this whore?" Jimmy said with disgust. Strum punched Jimmy and added, "She's my girlfriend you inconsiderate dickhead. She's coming with us!" "Alright then, but if she steals your money don't tell me I didn't warn you." Jimmy and Strum fled the brothel and found a place to stay within the town. The town was so big they didn't think they were going to be caught and executed. We do not know how this story will play out.... Only time may tell. TO BE CONTINUED
  24. 1 point
    Yosodog

    Top 20 Score History

    I'm bored and I have a SHIT LOAD of stats so might as well do something cool. I put it into excel and I don't want to redo every color and shit so here it is: lol At UPN's drop Anyways, if you wanna play with the data I've attached a .csv with it. top20.csv
  25. 1 point
    Jackywho

    The Origins of BK (Finale)

    Apologies for the delay, I'm a medically certified procrastinator. Originally wanted to post this on BK's birthday, but looks like I've missed it. Ah well. Enjoy! Finale Manas stood on the edge of a cliff, looking over the wide stretch of rolling green meadow that will soon be the battlefield where their fate will be determined. The Fire Nation members were camped behind the hill on the other end of the meadow, as reported by their spy, Linus. Linus reported an estimated 1000 soldiers fielded by the Fire Nation, giving them an overwhelming advantage in numbers compared to their measly 300 members. LordStrum and Yoso stood behind him, awaiting their Emperor’s orders. The scene before them brought back nightmares of the Fire Nation war. It was fought on the exact same battlefield. They been so confident, so sure that they would once again come out victorious. And yet they had been crushed mercilessly, defeated before they could even comprehend what was happening. It was a harsh lesson, one they will not forget easily. It will not happen again. “My liege, we are ready for your orders.” LordStrum says in between breaths as he performed what seemed like oral sex to Taeyeon. He claimed that this was how he inflated the doll, but Yoso knew that this was a coping mechanism, like how people who hyperventilate are given a brown paper bag to breathe into to calm them down. Of course, a brown paper bag is less conspicuous than a life-sized 1.57m blow up doll with special orifices for the pleasures of the user, but like the saying goes, “Who the fuck cares.” Manas turned around, hands clasped behind his back. “You know what to do. I have to prepare my ultimate move. Stall them.” He took off his pristine white cloak and handed it to Yoso. “I believe in you two.” As soon as he finished his sentence, Emperor Manas rolled his eyes back into his head and a slowing building “Ahhhhhh...” started to emit from his mouth. To most people, it would look as though the Emperor has had a stroke. Yoso and LordStrum knew better. The Emperor was the last in the line of an ancient race of Saiyans. He alone could make use of the techniques passed down from generations of epic fighters, and become the ultimate soldier, Super Manas. Already, the characteristic golden flames have appeared around the Emperor, giving him a holy glow. Yoso and LordStrum walked towards their troops camped below the cliff. “Alright boys, it’s time to fight. Alpha battalion, you’re with Jose and Tiber.” Jose and Tiber stood forth as soldiers began to move towards them. “Beta battalion, you’re with Zoot and Shifty” Zoot, munching on a burrito, waved at the crowd as Shifty greeted each new member with an “ayy lmao”. “Charlie battalion, you’re with me and Nate. And Yoso’s bitches, you’re with Yoso.” A bunch of oddly naked soldiers moved towards Yoso. They wore nothing but a pair of dog ears on their heads and an anal plug with a dog tail sticking out. It was unclear why they dressed that way, but it Yoso demanded it and thus it happened. “AHHHHHH!” With a final shout, the transformation was complete. On the cliff, Emperor Manas glowed like the beacon of light he was, visible even in the daylight. “Such majestic. Many shiny. Much power. Wow.” A solitary tear rolled down Yoso’s eyes as he looked towards his Emperor. Emperor manas put his hands up in the air. “SOLDIERS. I NEED YOUR ENERGY.” Arms were fervently raised as cries of “Manas take my energy” were heard throughout the camp. (Readers at home this is where you put your hands up and say “Manas take my energy”. Feel free to post pictures of yourself doing that in the comments below.) “KAAAAA... “ This was the start of Super Manas’s ultimate attack. This was why they haven’t lost before the arrival of the Fire Nation. The lazer attack, shot from Super Manas’s hands after charging up, has been known to end wars in a split second. And yet, this was also their greatest weakness. The long charge up time meant that it was essential to stall the enemy. Fire Nation, with their zerg-like style of attack, was their natural born counter. A shrill war horn disrupted the scene, followed by a gigantic roar as the sound of a thousand footsteps were heard. “OH FUCK!!! THEY’RE COMING. DAMN IT, LINUS SAID THEY WOULD ONLY COME AFTER THEY’VE FINISHED THE PORNOS THAT HE DISTRIBUTED IN THEIR CAMPS! FUCK , THEY FINISH FASTER THAN A VIRGIN BOY ON HIS FIRST HANDJOB!” LordStrum looked towards the meadow in disbelief. “FUCK!!!! LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE NO CHOICE. EVERYONE, PREPARE FOR BATTLE! CHARGEEE!!!” LordStrum shouted as he brandished his blow up doll as a mace. The two forces collided in the middle of the battlefield like the ass cheeks of a busty woman when she walks. People jumped on each other, swords and maces ready, and tore each other apart. LordStrum was immediately engaged with an enemy footsoldier, bonking him on the head with Taeyeon. To his right, new recruits Curu and Lelouch were tag teaming against a ugly-ass ogre twice their size, performing the wrestling move doomsday device to great effect. “MEHHHH…” Super Manas’s voice rang out loud and clear. Yoso nodded to himself as he commanded his bitches. They were making good time. They just had to last a couple more minutes, and the victory will be theirs! Around the battlefield, everyone was fighting their own fights, losing themselves to their bloodlust. Jose hammered the heads of his enemies into their chests, occasionally crushing their skulls for the fun of it. Tiber ran around the battlefield, using his broomstick to administer the “Thousand years of pain.” Shifty called upon his ayylien brothers, summoning massive UDOs (unidentified dank objects) to beam enemies up where they will be tortured, forced to listen to repeats of Nicki Minaj songs. Zoot stood by the side of the battlefield, selling insurance to both sides. Nate looked on impassively next to LordStrum, seemingly unfeeling towards the violence around him. “HAAAA….” LordStrum allowed himself a small smile while bashing an enemy into the ground. They were halfway there, and the battle was still relatively even. Though they had the numbers disadvantage, the soldiers they have gathered were talented and skillful. Of course, there were a few exceptions, like the two oddballs Mumzilla and TehChad who were obsessed with asking people whether they touched the dick getting their asses kicked by what seems to be a midget, but all in all, they had the upper hand, especially since they have yet to unleash their ultimate weapon. Suddenly, out the corner of his eye, LordStrum spotted a small group of 10 enemy soldiers sneaking around the battlefield, moving their way up the cliff towards Super Manas. “Oh fuck…”LordStrum murmured to himself as he realised the gravity of the situation. Super Manas is at his most vulnerable while charging his attack, when all his attention is focused upon gathering energy for the lazer. A single strike by the enemy and they will lose their secret weapon, and the war will be all but lost. “NATE, YOU’RE IN CHARGE NOW. KEEP STALLING THE ENEMY.” Nate nodded once. His muscles rippled as he noticeably began to bulk up. Nate’s blank stares gradually grew more intense, his stare becoming more menacing and blood vessels becoming more prominent in his eyeballs. As he continue to increase in size, his shirt ripped to shreds. With a large roar, Nate charged into the midst of the battlefield, swinging his arms like windmills and knocking people over with the sheer power of the wind generated from it. LordStrum ran towards the group of enemy soldiers without even looking back. The battlefield here was secure with Nate holding it down. LordStrum ran past Quasar teabagging his foe and Psweet catapulting dead enemies into the air with explosives strapped onto their backs to make gorey fireworks. Yoso, on the other end of the battlefield, had also noticed the group of soldiers and is running in the same direction towards the enemy. “So what’s the plan?” panted LordStrum as Yoso joined him. “Kill enemy. Save Emperor. Win battle.” Yoso wasted no words when his emperor was in danger. “MEHHHH…” Super Manas continued to charge his lazer, unaware of the danger which approaches him. This was the last phase of the charge up before all hell was released. “Shit dude, we aren’t going to reach them in time! They’re too fast!” gasped LordStrum, chest heaving. This was the most he had ever physically exerted himself, other than that one time where he organised a 13 hour orgy with members of the public dressed up as Girl Generation members. Without a word, Yoso took Taeyeon (“Hey, watch it!) and whispered a series of short barks into her ear. Almost immediately the blow up doll began to transform. Her back elongated as a thick leather seat formed on it. Her arms merged along with her legs to form wheels. Her face flattened out and became transparent, with a light in the middle of it. In an instant, Taeyeon transformed into a first rate Harley Motorcycle. “Holy shit, when did you add that to Baeyeon?” Ignoring LordStrum’s question, Yoso hopped on, and with a slight nod of the head sideways ordered LordStrum on board. Revving the engines, Yoso made a beeline towards the enemies. The first enemy was taken down with a motorbike to the back, grabbing the attention of the others. The motorbike swiftly transformed back into Taeyeon and leapt into the hands of LordStrum. The enemy, though surprised at first, noticed their numbers advantage and took advantage of it, forming a circle around Yoso and LordStrum. “Surrounded once again, eh, just like old times. Guess there no way out but to FIGHTTT!!!” With a mighty battlecry, LordStrum charged towards the enemy, taking them unaware. Yoso let out a howl as he too jumped upon the enemies. The enemies, initially taken aback, lost 2 of their remaining 9 members almost immediately, falling under the bites of Yoso and the blow up doll of LordStrum. However, they quickly recovered, and unlike those idiots from the mangas, actually charged both LordStrum and Yoso at once instead of trying to 1v1 them. Yoso and LordStrum, though having the upper hand skill-wise, could not stand up against the numerous attacks from the enemy. Even legendaries fall to zubats if there are enough zubats to fight them. Yoso and LordStrum took hit after hit, 1hp at a time. Their strength slowly began to leave their bodies, their senses dulled by the lack of energy. Slowly but surely, they were approaching fatigue. And then it happened. LordStrum saw it coming before he could react to it. As he raised Taeyeon to block yet another slash from the enemy, he noticed a tiny tear in the blow up doll’s otherwise impenetrable latex and vinyl skin. A horrified “No!!” escaped his lips as he watched the enemy’s sword rip right through the tear, slicing Baeyeon into two. LordStrum fell to his knees, completely in shock. The world had ended, so why had the battle not ceased, the armies fallen silent in horror, and every combatant laid down their arms? LordStrum’s mind was in free fall, spinning out of control, unable to grasp the impossibility, because Baeyeon could not be dead, the evidence of all his senses must be lying— And then the enemy was upon him again. The one who dealt the fatal blow to Taeyeon raised his sword, smiling, and prepared to inflict the same to fate her master. Yoso saw what was happening and let out a small yelp. He was too far, he couldn’t reach LordStrum in time— The sword swung downwards, straight for LordStrum’s head. The smile on the enemy’s face quickly faded as he realised he couldn’t swing his sword all the way through. LordStrum had risen his hand just in time to catch the blade of the sword, blood oozing out of his palm and down his arm. Struggle as he might, the enemy just could not free his sword from LordStrum’s grasp. LordStrum was simply too strong. LordStrum slowly turned his head upwards to the enemy, fresh red blood still running down his face. “I. Will. Make. You. Pay.” With that, LordStrum started to stand, hurt from multiple attacks from different enemies, yet somehow still finding the strength needed to completely overpower a grown adult. As he rose, he bent the sword backward until it was parallel to the hilt. The enemy stood frozen, paralysed by fear. In one swift movement, LordStrum grabbed the enemy by the cusp of his neck with one hand and raised him up into the air. The enemy, realising what was going to happen, began to struggle, coughing furiously. His comrades, who originally stood still in complete horror, began to rush up to help, swinging their swords in complete futility. LordStrum caught each swing with his other forearm, not even bothering to look at the others. They were flies to him. Revenge for Baeyeon was all he had on his mind. LordStrum gradually began to increase the pressure of his grasp, squeezing his enemy’s skull. The eyes gave way first, slowly beginning to pop out of the head. Next came the cranium, which started to crack. The enemy’s breaths grew shorter and more rapid as his face turned to purple. With a loud “splat”, the enemy’s skull gave way as brain, blood and gore splattered all over LordStrum. LordStrum stood unblinkingly throughout the entire process. Slowly, he turned towards the rest of the enemies, headless corpse still in hand. “You’re next.” Yoso stood back, not wanting to be caught in the carnage. He knew what happened when someone messes with LordStrum’s things. He had accidentally smudged LordStrum’s signed copy of Girl’s Generation poster once, and for weeks he had to hide in his mom’s closet while he waited for the replacement order to arrive from the United States Postal Service. He always regretted not using Fedex. “HAHH!!!!!” And with a final roar, Super Manas unleashed the lazer, wiping out the rest of the enemies who were still standing. A cheer rose throughout the army as they realised what they have just done. Victory was theirs. Their place in Orbis was secure. The riches of the Fire Nation was theirs. Emperor Manas, back to his original form, walked down the cliff to where Yoso and LordStrum were. LordStrum was kneeling next to his torn Taeyeon doll, gently weeping. Yoso tried again and again to comfort him, but there was no use. The damage was done. Super Manas placed a hand on LordStrum’s shoulder. “My sweet summer child, you have suffered greatly in this war. But fear not. For even in the darkest of nights, there will always be people willing to guide you to safety. We shall be those people. From now on, we will be known, as the Black Knights of Camelot!” proclaimed Emperor Manas as he raised his hand into the air. Yoso whispered a few short sentences into Emperor Mana’s ear. “What? What do you mean the word Camelot is protected by copyright laws? Fine, fine, just Black Knights then.” -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------THE END------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  26. 1 point
    Jackywho

    The Origins of BK (Part 3)

    PART 3 As Yoso and LordStrum continued on their journey, their numbers began to grow. People who were sympathetic to their cause pledged their loyalty to the kingdom. It also helped that LordStrum promised to give everyone a body pillow in his likeness if you joined. Everyone wanted to be able to say that they have slept with LordStrum. One night, Yoso and LordStrum called for a meeting around the campfire. “Right plebs, we’ve gathered you here today to choose a new name for our kingdom. I personally suggested Baeyeonxstrum4lyfe to Emperor Manas, but obviously he was drunk or something since he rejected my fabulous idea. As we are a democratic group” *snickers* “we believe that each of you should have the chance to suggest names for our kingdom.” “ME SAY NAME KILLRAPELOOT’’ thundered Jose, a large black man who was known throughout Orbis for smashing people into pulp with his bare fists. LordStrum waved Jose’s suggestion aside. “Your suggestion is like you, Jose. Stupid and stupid. Next.” “How about the Kingdom of Waverly Place?” chimed in Tiber, who was sitting uncomfortably on a log with the broomstick in between his legs. “Hey, your suggestion is similar to your broomstick.” Tiber looked at LordStrum, confused. “Because it belongs up your ass. Next.” “I suggest we name our country the Bank, and charge insanely high rates to our citizens!” purred Zoot, a man who was rather fond of eating burritos. “I suggest you eat a dick. Next.” “Ayy lmao.” said Shifty, an ayylien who only said ayy lmao. “Yeah yeah. Next. What about you Nate, any suggestions?” Nate stared back at LordStrum. LordStrum sighed. “I thought not. Well, looks like no one has any good suggestions here.”, blatantly ignoring other hundreds of people sitting around. “Seems like we are done for the night then. Quick notice, remember to put in your earplugs tonight. Me and Baeyeon have a long night ahead of us.” he said, creepily winking at the Taeyeon blow up doll. Everyone was preparing to go back to their respective tents when the clip-cloping of a horse’s hooves were heard. Emperor Manas rode into the light of the campfire, wind flapping around his majestic white cloak. Yoso and LordStrum immediately dropped to their knees. “So honored. Much happy. Many confused. Wow.” said Yoso, expressing the confusion that both him and LordStrum felt. “We are under attack. The Fire Nation has taken advantage of your absence and are now threatening to destroy what’s left of our kingdom.”panted Emperor Manas, exhausted from the long ride. “I need you to gather up the men and prepare at once. This battle will decide our fate in Orbis. Win, and we forever secure our place in Orbis and of the untold riches of FSA. We must NOT lose!” exalted Emperor Manas. LordStrum looked back at his eyes of his comrades. Their eyes shone with the promise of fame, fortune and a good fight. Everyone's except Nate, who just stared. “Alright boys, it's time for war.” @Yosodog @LordStrum @Jose Rodriguez III @Tiber @Zoot @Shifty Stranger @Natinator @manas
  27. 1 point
    Jackywho

    The Origins of BK (Part 2)

    PART 2 “Ok Yoso, where should we go first?” LordStrum panted, sweat pouring out of every pore of his body as he heaved his Taeyeon blow up doll over his shoulder. They have been wandering for minutes now, with no end in mind. “First Wizard. Very Pew Pew. Much magical. Wow.” Yoso replies, as he strutted forward confidently. As a programming master, he had calculated their path before they even set forth, doing various programming alchemy to make sure that they will have the highest chances of success. “Hm, a wizard eh? I wonder if he can make my Baeyeon come to life, that way I’ll…” LordStrum’s words were cut off as he roughly shoved his tongue down the blow up doll’s mouth, groping at the doll’s breasts as though he was a housewife testing for the ripeness of a grapefruit. Yoso ignored the scene, having been used to it. He once wrote a programme that allowed the user to type anything to be said in Taeyeon’s voice, but LordStrum hogged his computer so much making the programme say “Give it to me Strummy Wummy, oh yes” that he had no choice but to uninstall the programme. Suddenly, the bushes to their right rustled. Out jumped a skinny white boy, with what looked like a wooden stick in between his legs. “Have you seen the golden snitch?” he said in a thick British accent. “I’ve been looking for it for the past few days now, but it seems to have gone missing. Ah well, would you like to join be for a spot of tea and some delightful scones? I’ve got it all set up right here.”, gesturing towards his bush. “Whoth theth fuckth hare youth?” LordStrum had bitten his tongue when the boy jumped out of the bush, interrupting his fantasy with Taeyeon and is now understandably pissed. “My name is Tiber, and I am a professional Quidditch player!” Tiber announced proudly, patting his stick like he would while riding a horse. “Theth fuckth isth Quddith? Someth kindth of instrument?” “Oh nothing, just a sport that us wizards play.” At the word wizard, LordStrum’s eyes lit up. “Oh fuckth, you’re a withard? Can youth make my Taeyeonth cometh to lithe?” “No silly, I have dedicated my life to the pursuit of Quidditch. I have long traded my magical abilities to the devil to become the best Quidditch player there is! Someday I’ll even rival the legendary seeker, Hairy Potter!” and with this, Tiber began to jump around on his broomstick, seemingly trying to practise some Quidditch maneuvers but never quite making it. Yoso and LordStrum stared at the demented skinny white boy prancing around on a old broomstick that had already lost most of its bristles. Bending down, LordStrum whispered to Yoso. “So whath do youth thinkth?” Yoso raised a questioning eyebrow. “Cocaine or meth?” @Yosodog @LordStrum @Tiber
  28. 1 point
    Jackywho

    Prolouge

    Prologue: "cam on, u ar alrmost thar, just push rit oute! " "CAN'T YOU GOD DAMN SEE I'M TRYING?!?! HOW BOUT YOU STOP THAT BITCHING OF YOURS AND GET ME SOME KOOL AID AND CHICKEN?" "ok ok, carm drown, i will get rit for you..." Mr Lang backed out of the bushes and moved towards the pack, lying under the light of the full moon. "Hey anrybody got the cool aid and the ricken? She Nay Nay wants it veri bad." The biggest of the wolves, Daehkcid, stood up and snarled at Mr Lang. "Piss off Lang, we ain't got shit for you. Go get your own kool aid and "ricken"." he says, looking at the rest of his pack. The pack laughed and started to chant, "ricken, ricken". "You guys no my engerish is not veri gd, prease no make fun of me" Mr Lang murmurs to himself. This was not the first time he received such abuse from the pack. Ever since he joined, he had always been made fun of. He had originally left his eastern pack to try and make a better life for himself in the famed western packs. His family had begged him not to leave, but he, enchanted by the stories, had ignored the pleas of his parents. After travelling for miles without proper food and water, he finally found this pack which was willing to accept him. Unbeknownst to him, the pack only let him tag along to make fun of him. His role in the pack was to be the punching bag, the wolf that others can bully to make them feel better about themselves. He worked hard in the pack, always the first to put himself in danger against a stag so that the others are able to sneak up and take the stag down, hoping against hope that one day he will be accepted. However, the only wolf who showed him any kind of care and concern was She Nay Nay, one of the most eligible wolferettes in the pack. Maybe it was out of sympathy, but She Nay Nay protected Mr Lang, and made sure that no wolf lays a paw on him. Mr Lang was enchanted by her, a beautiful big black bitch, and before long, she was pregnant with his puppies. It was a joyous day, and Mr Lang hoped that this would finally allow him to be accepted by his pack. However, it seemed to have only made matters worse, as the pack, under Daehkcid's influence, started to distance themselves further and further away. Mr Lang shook his head. This is no time for such thoughts. She Nay Nay is in labour, and she needs his help. Mr Lang walked away from the pack. He knew a road nearby which always had some chickens crossing it. It's late, but if he got lucky, he could still get some chicken for She Nay Nay. Suddenly, he heard She Nay Nay yelp in pain. "Orh noe!" He thought to himself, and sprinted towards the bushes where She Nay Nay was lying. Unpleasant thoughts began to form in his mind. What if the puppy died while She Nay Nay was giving birth? What if She Nay Nay dies in the process? What if M. Night Shyamalan decides to make another Avatar movie? Mr Lang burst into the bush, and stopped in his tracks. She Nay Nay laid on the ground, back against him, panting. There was no puppy in sight. "Buddha bless me..." Mr Lang thought, his worst dreams having become reality. It was then when he spotted a white head behind She Nay Nay. As he walked around her, he saw the most adorable little puppy. It was fully white, and was suckling at the skin on his mother's elbow, attempting to coax milk out of what he thought was a tit. Mr Lang walked over and licked the puppies forehead. The puppy gave a start, and looked back at his papa, giving him the derp face. Mr Lang laughed. "Wat to rame u..." Mr Lang looked around. It was tradition from his pack to name the new puppies after something that was seen in the proximity of where the puppy was born. Mr Lang looked up and smiled knowingly. "Ah, I noe. Ri shall rame u..." In true Lion King fashion, he stood on his hindlegs and lifted the new born pup up against the backdrop of the full moon. "Moon moon." And the puppy pissed over his father's face. "GOD DAMN IT MOON MOON"
  29. 1 point
    (Warning: Contains NSFW words. Stop being a pussy.) What makes boobies so attractive? This is a question that comes across my mind a lot. You go outside (In the case of LordStrum, you don't go outside) and you see a pair of attractive titties and you can't help but look. Even most women claim to love a nice pair of tits. We must go deep and figure out this answer! Think about it, boobs are fucking weird. They're big blobs of fat with a nipple on them that produce milk. And yet, I can never get bored of looking at titties. Interestingly, when a baby is sucking on a females titties, the mother's brain releases a neurochemical named oxytocin, AKA, the "love drug." This drug plays a huge role in the neuroanatomy of intimacy, and helps mothers pay attention and love their baby. Recent studies show that this drug is not only released when a baby is breast feeding, but also during any kind of nipple simulation. It activates the same part of the brain when you're fucking or eating her out. So suck on her titties during foreplay and she's gonna be ready to get some lovin', and potentially babies. If you're not catching my flow here, evolution has made it so men want to suck on titties, as women will become more intimate with a mate who sucks her tits and is more likely to reproduce. So men, suck dem nipples. Here's a quote from a website that doesn't say who said it but it sounds about right: "Evolution has selected for this brain organization in men that makes them attracted to the breasts in a sexual context, because the outcome is that it activates the female bonding circuit, making women feel more bonded with him. It's a behavior that males have evolved in order to stimulate the female's maternal bonding circuitry." So why are boobs so attractive to humans but not other mammals? It's theorized that this is because humans form monogamous relationships. Why? I don't know because my source doesn't fucking say. The second theory is that humans mostly have sex face to face, whereas when most other animals fuck, they fuck doggy style. Why do gorillas like big butts? Cuz they fuck from behind. Because we fuck face to face, the nipples are right there in your face. So you see titties when you're fucking, so you associate boobies with mating. Hmm...... Boobs are honestly a sack of fat, but holy fuck they're so attractive. I guess you could sum it all up into this: Boobs = Sex. Sex = Mating. Mating = Reproduction and winning at evolution. Honestly though, no one knows exactly why. Scientists are pretty sure that boobs are associated with mating and that's why we find them so attractive but it is all theories. But seriously, who gives a shit? I love tits and that's that. I hope you learned something today. Stay tuned to Yoso's Corner because next time, I may be posting about ass vs. tits. I don't know.
  30. 1 point
    Yosodog

    More Statistics Crap

    OMG I added a few things and updated shit. There's a new "Target List Generator" thing that will get you a bunch of military stats on the person and an "Alliance Members" thing that you can use to get a lot of info about people in an alliance. I've also made it amazing for mobile phones if for some reason you'd want to do this shit on your phone. Also a few more little things but yeah. I'll work on more shit whenever I feel like it.
  31. 1 point
    Yosodog

    Statistics Enhancements

    Recent developments in my 1337 coder skillz has allowed me to take statistics of ALL alliances and ALL nations instead of only the top 50 alliances and BK nations. If all goes well, you'll be able to download them at 3:30 AM here http://bkpw.net/stats.html On my to-do list is to allow you to select a time range to download stats from, though with the way everything is written it'll be fairly impossible. I may just export each day to a .txt and then you can download which days you want, though that'll be in the future. For now, you download EVERYTHING.
  32. 1 point
    Yosodog

    How to Find us on Google

    So I was going through some Google Analytics and found some pretty funny shit. After my post about "Finding the perfect tits" we had an increase in search queries. Take a look: So I decided to see if Googling "These tits are perfect" if we would show up high on the first page... well.... Go ahead and Google some of these things. Like "The Perfect Tits" we show up on the second page. So I've decided, in order to get more members, we shall host a fuck ton of porn. o/ The Perfect Tits. The quest continues!
  33. 1 point
  34. 1 point
    Welcome to a new series called "The Quest for Perfect Tits". Basically, the title describes what is going on here. I will sacrifice myself, and look at a bunch of different tits in order to find the perfect pair. So, without further adieu, here we go. Everyone's opinions on tits are different. As always, my views are the best and the correct way to think. We will be going through the following criteria: Nipple Size - I'm not a big fan of huge nipples or areolas.Boob Size - There IS such thing as too big (Stay tuned), and there's also a thing as too small. I'm no expert in bra sizes, but I do know the perfect size when I see them.Perkiness - Saggy tits? Hell yeah! I'm kidding though, they can't be too perky that they're fake, they have to be just rightAs always, we will only be judging tits. The body and face that surrounds the tits will not be included in the ratings. LET'S GET STARTED. For this, we will be using r/boobs for sources of pictures. Well, I think we've found our perfect tits. This is the #1 rated post on r/boobs and it's there for a reason. The nipple size is perfect, and the areolas are around the right size. The color of the nipples is pretty much perfect too. The boob size? Pretty much perfect. Perkiness? This is almost too perfect. 10/10 These are pretty nice. The nipple/areola size is a tad large, but is proportional to the tit size. I think the best thing about these tits are the roundness. They're quite perky for their size but I'm getting this fake tits vibe from it. Also, the nipple piercing is horrible. Though, overall, decent tits 8,5/10 Is it just me or are these not that great? They're far from bad and I'd still motorboat them, but they're far from perfect. They're fine in pretty much every way, but they're not that perky. Now, they're far from saggy, but they hang and they're quite spread apart. If these were in a bra, they'd be absolutely perfect. I don't know, there's just something about these tits that don't register with me. 8/10 Well that's all for episode 1. I probably won't do another one of these but if I get bored I will.
  35. 1 point
    Rahul

    paper No 3

    KOI EDISON 17 06 2015 Printed at KOI ISLAND ALLIANCE NEWS BK’s TAX DAY ON AFRICA:Black Knights tax day is on, and tax level has been raised to 75% as usual even though resource tax remains same.Black Knights follows the same procedure to increase alliance cash balance to take care of welfare activities of its nations. Hurr Locker to win the battle? AFRICA: Hurr locker is winning the battle against Geth Collective, even though Geth is around 80 point higher. In the two rounds of battle Hurr has damaged 42.09 infrastructure and got 101397.96 dollars with loss of 101 soilders. Archduke of Foreign of BK trying hard to create UN?AFRICA: There was great push for UN from Lelouch befor the war that BK fought.But after the war there is no improvement or talks regarding UN.Now there is the greater doubt in the minds of people regarding UN and its arrival. There is no reply for this question from the government. So it is expected that Yosodog will break the silence regarding this soon. Minecraft ServerAFRICA: As per the reports there are about 69.23 % of people want minecraft server which is under construction by Lelouch and 30.77 % of people don’t want it.As for there is the clear majority for server it is expected to hit out soon. INTERNATIONAL Titan joins Rose PW: Emperor of Rose Keegoz has signed to protect the Titan today morning around 8.14.Even though there has been talk on merger of titan with BK,by Consul Henry in IRC Chat,with Emperor of BK Yosodog,it has been rejected as Henry wanted emperor post by the royal family of BK,even though Yosodog was ready for it.Below are the part of conversations regarding this 9:09 PM <•Henry[away]> I agree 9:09 PM <•Henry[away]> I'mma merge Titan into BK 9:10 PM <•Henry[away]> But I gotta be Emperor. 9:11 PM <•Yosodog> Sure [email protected]#$ it 9:11 PM <•Yosodog> You're Emperor gg 3:04 PM ><Impero[VE]> thats all i think about 3:04 PM<Impero[VE]>literally 3:04 PM<Impero[VE]> i lie awake at night 3:04 PM<Impero[VE]> thinking about getting reps from sk IHL Adventures CUP PW: Eric of canada in the alliance of Terradoxia is conducting a Hockey league with prize till 895K! Even though registration fee is nil, there is a competition fee of 150,000 canadian dollar. National Reporters Needed! KOI Island: “KOI Edison” newspaper company needs reporters to collect reports! Interested can Message Great I Empire! Your can advertise with us! KOI Island: All can advertise your news for low cost with us for more details call Great KOI Empire. KOI Edison to charge $1 for 10 newspapers. Published at BK,PW,DEIC and UANS Edition:1 NO:3
  36. 1 point
  37. 1 point
    The Focus on Politics Blogs will be serious blogs on a certain alliance. I will just do these because I feel like it. Enjoy reading. You may learn something Guardian is an alliance which can be considered one of the most influential. Some consider them the most influential. But why? Is it their upper tier? Well they do have that. They have that upper tier which makes other alliances cringe because it is not matched (plus they have other upper tier friends). They also were a main proponent of the victory in the first major global war, The Marionette War. Guardian's leadership is also considered as one of the smartest groups of people. Prefontaine is not someone to mess around with and is one of the highest regarded leaders next to Kurdanak, Ogaden, and Pfeiffer. Pre has lead guardian well in his time. What else though? I would say their general FA position and respect allows them to be feared. They have SK, TEst, and a few others that lurk around them quite often and will help them in wars, such as the recent GPA war. All of these are considered to be some of the most influential and most militaristic alliances. They also hold good FA positions individually. One last thing to note is that they are not the most powerful in the game, but are one of the main powers. They are the most powerful upper tier alliance, however their dominance only exists up there. They have some medium tier that are strong, but many other powers can match that. Hope you enjoyed my short analysis. Maybe you learned something from it idk tl;dr for strum: Guardian fucks shit up in the upper tier and is not some little shit
  38. 0 points
    Shifty Stranger

    IRC Supremacy

    The clear choice is mibbit. Become a mibbitian today. mibbit.com
  39. -1 points
    LordStrum

    Why I'm awesome

    ... ... ... ... ... Because I said so. :3
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