“Ok Yoso, where should we go first?” LordStrum panted, sweat pouring out of every pore of his body as he heaved his Taeyeon blow up doll over his shoulder. They have been wandering for minutes now, with no end in mind.
“First Wizard. Very Pew Pew. Much magical. Wow.” Yoso replies, as he strutted forward confidently. As a programming master, he had calculated their path before they even set forth, doing various programming alchemy to make sure that they will have the highest chances of success.
“Hm, a wizard eh? I wonder if he can make my Baeyeon come to life, that way I’ll…” LordStrum’s words were cut off as he roughly shoved his tongue down the blow up doll’s mouth, groping at the doll’s breasts as though he was a housewife testing for the ripeness of a grapefruit. Yoso ignored the scene, having been used to it. He once wrote a programme that allowed the user to type anything to be said in Taeyeon’s voice, but LordStrum hogged his computer so much making the programme say “Give it to me Strummy Wummy, oh yes” that he had no choice but to uninstall the programme.
Suddenly, the bushes to their right rustled. Out jumped a skinny white boy, with what looked like a wooden stick in between his legs. “Have you seen the golden snitch?” he said in a thick British accent. “I’ve been looking for it for the past few days now, but it seems to have gone missing. Ah well, would you like to join be for a spot of tea and some delightful scones? I’ve got it all set up right here.”, gesturing towards his bush.
“Whoth theth fuckth hare youth?” LordStrum had bitten his tongue when the boy jumped out of the bush, interrupting his fantasy with Taeyeon and is now understandably pissed.
“My name is Tiber, and I am a professional Quidditch player!” Tiber announced proudly, patting his stick like he would while riding a horse.
“Theth fuckth isth Quddith? Someth kindth of instrument?”
“Oh nothing, just a sport that us wizards play.” At the word wizard, LordStrum’s eyes lit up.
“Oh fuckth, you’re a withard? Can youth make my Taeyeonth cometh to lithe?”
“No silly, I have dedicated my life to the pursuit of Quidditch. I have long traded my magical abilities to the devil to become the best Quidditch player there is! Someday I’ll even rival the legendary seeker, Hairy Potter!” and with this, Tiber began to jump around on his broomstick, seemingly trying to practise some Quidditch maneuvers but never quite making it.
Yoso and LordStrum stared at the demented skinny white boy prancing around on a old broomstick that had already lost most of its bristles. Bending down, LordStrum whispered to Yoso.
“So whath do youth thinkth?”
Yoso raised a questioning eyebrow.
“Cocaine or meth?”