Jump to content
kek
Sign in to follow this  
  • entries
    7
  • comments
    28
  • views
    806

About this blog

I write stories

Entries in this blog

Jackywho

Because I felt bad for procrastinating so much and felt that the story was a bit incomplete, here's an additional unplanned segment! 

 

Epilogue

LordStrum lay in bed, staring at his ceiling. The war ended 3 days ago, and the entire nation was still busy celebrating. However, he just couldn’t bring himself to celebrate. When he lost Baeyeon, he didn’t just lose his blow up doll. He also lost his humor and his ability to smile. He couldn’t even summon enough energy to fap to his reflection in the mirror.

 

A knock came on the door. “Go away,” muttered LordStrum, covering himself up with his blanket. Yoso had came multiple times in the past few days, bringing him food and trying to cheer him up with little effect. Doesn’t he know? All LordStrum wants right now was to be left alone.

 

A second knock came. “GO AWAY.” LordStrum said in a louder voice. Gosh, some people just can’t take a hint.

 

A third knock came. LordStrum was just about to shout when he heard a sweet, high pitched female voice ringing out.

 

“Strummy Wummy, will you rub my tummy?”

 

Wait, was that Taeyeon’s voice?

LordStrum ran to the door and threw it wide open. In front of his stood Yoso. But that wasn’t what mattered. It was what stood behind him that counted.

 

“IS THAT A ROBOTIZED TAEYEON 240 VOLT FUCKMASTER PRO 5000 BLOWUP LATEX DOLL WITH 6 SPEED PULSATING VAGINA, ELASTICIZED ANUS WITH NON-DRIP SEMEN COLLECTION TRAY, TOGETHER WITH AN OPTIONAL BUILT IN REALISTIC ORGASM SCREAM SURROUND SOUND SYSTEM?”

 

Yoso nodded and smiled.

 

“HOLY SHIT DUDE, THAT THING COSTS THOUSANDS.”

 

Yoso nodded, not smiling this time.

 

“Shit dude, that’s amazing. Thanks man.”

 

Yoso held up a paw. He ran behind the doll and pulled out a present.

 

“Woah, another gift?” LordStrum said excitedly as he tore it open.

 

Inside, he found his old Taeyeon doll, badly stitched up across the middle.

 

“Much paws. Hard stitch. Bad job. Wow.” Yoso looked down, seemingly ashamed of his work.

 

LordStrum said nothing. He simply bent down and gave Yoso a massive hug.

 

Yoso patted LordStrum’s back awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

 

LordStrum broke off and looked at Yoso, smiling. “What do you say we try out the new doll together?”

 

Yoso fist bumped LordStrum and ran into the bedroom, where everyone in the castle could hear them for the rest of the night, proving that the optional realistic orgasm scream surround sound was well worth the extra price.

 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------HAPPY HOLIDAYS!-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jackywho

 

Apologies for the delay, I'm a medically certified procrastinator. Originally wanted to post this on BK's birthday, but looks like I've missed it. Ah well. Enjoy! 

Finale

Manas stood on the edge of a cliff, looking over the wide stretch of rolling green meadow that will soon be the battlefield where their fate will be determined. The Fire Nation members were camped behind the hill on the other end of the meadow, as reported by their spy, Linus. Linus reported an estimated 1000 soldiers fielded by the Fire Nation, giving them an overwhelming advantage in numbers compared to their measly 300 members.

 

LordStrum and Yoso stood behind him, awaiting their Emperor’s orders. The scene before them brought back nightmares of the Fire Nation war. It was fought on the exact same battlefield. They been so confident, so sure that they would once again come out victorious. And yet they had been crushed mercilessly, defeated before they could even comprehend what was happening. It was a harsh lesson, one they will not forget easily. It will not happen again.

 

“My liege, we are ready for your orders.” LordStrum says in between breaths as he performed what seemed like oral sex to Taeyeon. He claimed that this was how he inflated the doll, but Yoso knew that this was a coping mechanism, like how people who hyperventilate are given a brown paper bag to breathe into to calm them down. Of course, a brown paper bag is less conspicuous than a life-sized 1.57m blow up doll with special orifices for the pleasures of the user, but like the saying goes, “Who the fuck cares.”

 

Manas turned around, hands clasped behind his back. “You know what to do. I have to prepare my ultimate move. Stall them.” He took off his pristine white cloak and handed it to Yoso. “I believe in you two.”

 

As soon as he finished his sentence, Emperor Manas rolled his eyes back into his head and a slowing building “Ahhhhhh...” started to emit from his mouth. To most people, it would look as though the Emperor has had a stroke. Yoso and LordStrum knew better. The Emperor was the last in the line of an ancient race of Saiyans. He alone could make use of the techniques passed down from generations of epic fighters, and become the ultimate soldier, Super Manas. Already, the characteristic golden flames have appeared around the Emperor, giving him a holy glow.

 

Yoso and LordStrum walked towards their troops camped below the cliff. “Alright boys, it’s time to fight. Alpha battalion, you’re with Jose and Tiber.” Jose and Tiber stood forth as soldiers began to move towards them. “Beta battalion, you’re with Zoot and Shifty” Zoot, munching on a burrito, waved at the crowd as Shifty greeted each new member with an “ayy lmao”. “Charlie battalion, you’re with me and Nate. And Yoso’s bitches, you’re with Yoso.” A bunch of oddly naked soldiers moved towards Yoso. They wore nothing but a pair of dog ears on their heads and an anal plug with a dog tail sticking out. It was unclear why they dressed that way, but it Yoso demanded it and thus it happened.

 

“AHHHHHH!” With a final shout, the transformation was complete. On the cliff, Emperor Manas glowed like the beacon of light he was, visible even in the daylight.

 

“Such majestic. Many shiny. Much power. Wow.” A solitary tear rolled down Yoso’s eyes as he looked towards his Emperor.

 

Emperor manas put his hands up in the air. “SOLDIERS. I NEED YOUR ENERGY.” Arms were fervently raised as cries of “Manas take my energy” were heard throughout the camp.  

 

(Readers at home this is where you put your hands up and say “Manas take my energy”. Feel free to post pictures of yourself doing that in the comments below.)

 

“KAAAAA... “ This was the start of Super Manas’s ultimate attack. This was why they haven’t lost before the arrival of the Fire Nation. The lazer attack, shot from Super Manas’s hands after charging up, has been known to end wars in a split second. And yet, this was also their greatest weakness. The long charge up time meant that it was essential to stall the enemy. Fire Nation, with their zerg-like style of attack, was their natural born counter.

 

A shrill war horn disrupted the scene, followed by a gigantic roar as the sound of a thousand footsteps were heard.

 

“OH FUCK!!! THEY’RE COMING. DAMN IT, LINUS SAID THEY WOULD ONLY COME AFTER THEY’VE FINISHED THE PORNOS THAT HE DISTRIBUTED IN THEIR CAMPS! FUCK , THEY FINISH FASTER THAN A VIRGIN BOY ON HIS FIRST HANDJOB!” LordStrum looked towards the meadow in disbelief.

 

“FUCK!!!! LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE NO CHOICE. EVERYONE, PREPARE FOR BATTLE! CHARGEEE!!!” LordStrum shouted as he brandished his blow up doll as a mace.

 

The two forces collided in the middle of the battlefield like the ass cheeks of a busty woman when she walks. People jumped on each other, swords and maces ready, and tore each other apart. LordStrum was immediately engaged with an enemy footsoldier, bonking him on the head with Taeyeon. To his right, new recruits Curu and Lelouch were tag teaming against a ugly-ass ogre twice their size, performing the wrestling move doomsday device to great effect.

 

“MEHHHH…” Super Manas’s voice rang out loud and clear. Yoso nodded to himself as he commanded his bitches. They were making good time. They just had to last a couple more minutes, and the victory will be theirs!

 

Around the battlefield, everyone was fighting their own fights, losing themselves to their bloodlust. Jose hammered the heads of his enemies into their chests, occasionally crushing their skulls for the fun of it. Tiber ran around the battlefield, using his broomstick to administer the “Thousand years of pain.”  Shifty called upon his ayylien brothers, summoning massive UDOs (unidentified dank objects) to beam enemies up where they will be tortured, forced to listen to repeats of Nicki Minaj songs. Zoot stood by the side of the battlefield, selling insurance to both sides. Nate looked on impassively next to LordStrum, seemingly unfeeling towards the violence around him.

 

“HAAAA….” LordStrum allowed himself a small smile while bashing an enemy into the ground. They were halfway there, and the battle was still relatively even. Though they had the numbers disadvantage, the soldiers they have gathered were talented and skillful. Of course, there were a few exceptions, like the two oddballs Mumzilla and TehChad who were obsessed with asking people whether they touched the dick getting their asses kicked by what seems to be a midget, but all in all, they had the upper hand, especially since they have yet to unleash their ultimate weapon.

 

Suddenly, out the corner of his eye, LordStrum spotted a small group of 10 enemy soldiers sneaking around the battlefield, moving their way up the cliff towards Super Manas. “Oh fuck…”LordStrum murmured to himself as he realised the gravity of the situation. Super Manas is at his most vulnerable while charging his attack, when all his attention is focused upon gathering energy for the lazer. A single strike by the enemy and they will lose their secret weapon, and the war will be all but lost.

 

“NATE, YOU’RE IN CHARGE NOW. KEEP STALLING THE ENEMY.” Nate nodded once. His muscles rippled as he noticeably began to bulk up. Nate’s blank stares gradually grew more intense, his stare becoming more menacing and blood vessels becoming more prominent in his eyeballs. As he continue to increase in size, his shirt ripped to shreds. With a large roar, Nate charged into the midst of the battlefield, swinging his arms like windmills and knocking people over with the sheer power of the wind generated from it. LordStrum ran towards the group of enemy soldiers without even looking back. The battlefield here was secure with Nate holding it down.

 

LordStrum ran past Quasar teabagging his foe and Psweet catapulting dead enemies into the air with explosives strapped onto their backs to make gorey fireworks. Yoso, on the other end of the battlefield, had also noticed the group of soldiers and is running in the same direction towards the enemy.  

 

“So what’s the plan?” panted LordStrum as Yoso joined him.

 

“Kill enemy. Save Emperor. Win battle.” Yoso wasted no words when his emperor was in danger.

 

“MEHHHH…” Super Manas continued to charge his lazer, unaware of the danger which approaches him. This was the last phase of the charge up before all hell was released.

 

“Shit dude, we aren’t going to reach them in time! They’re too fast!” gasped LordStrum, chest heaving. This was the most he had ever physically exerted himself, other than that one time where he organised a 13 hour orgy with members of the public dressed up as Girl Generation members.

 

Without a word, Yoso took Taeyeon (“Hey, watch it!) and whispered a series of short barks into her ear. Almost immediately the blow up doll began to transform. Her back elongated as a thick leather seat formed on it. Her arms merged along with her legs to form wheels. Her face flattened out and became transparent, with a light in the middle of it. In an instant, Taeyeon transformed into a first rate Harley Motorcycle.

 

“Holy shit, when did you add that to Baeyeon?” Ignoring LordStrum’s question, Yoso hopped on, and with a slight nod of the head sideways ordered LordStrum on board. Revving the engines, Yoso made a beeline towards the enemies.

 

The first enemy was taken down with a motorbike to the back, grabbing the attention of the others. The motorbike swiftly transformed back into Taeyeon and leapt into the hands of LordStrum. The enemy, though surprised at first, noticed their numbers advantage and took advantage of it, forming a circle around Yoso and LordStrum.

 

“Surrounded once again, eh, just like old times. Guess there no way out but to FIGHTTT!!!” With a mighty battlecry, LordStrum charged towards the enemy, taking them unaware. Yoso let out a howl as he too jumped upon the enemies.

 

The enemies, initially taken aback, lost 2 of their remaining 9 members almost immediately, falling under the bites of Yoso and the blow up doll of LordStrum. However, they quickly recovered, and unlike those idiots from the mangas, actually charged both LordStrum and Yoso at once instead of trying to 1v1 them. Yoso and LordStrum, though having the upper hand skill-wise, could not stand up against the numerous attacks from the enemy. Even legendaries fall to zubats if there are enough zubats to fight them. Yoso and LordStrum took hit after hit, 1hp at a time. Their strength slowly began to leave their bodies, their senses dulled by the lack of energy. Slowly but surely, they were approaching fatigue.  

 

And then it happened. LordStrum saw it coming before he could react to it. As he raised Taeyeon to block yet another slash from the enemy, he noticed a tiny tear in the blow up doll’s otherwise impenetrable latex and vinyl skin. A horrified “No!!” escaped his lips as he watched the enemy’s sword rip right through the tear, slicing Baeyeon into two.

 

LordStrum fell to his knees, completely in shock. The world had ended, so why had the battle not ceased, the armies fallen silent in horror, and every combatant laid down their arms? LordStrum’s mind was in free fall, spinning out of control, unable to grasp the impossibility, because Baeyeon could not be dead, the evidence of all his senses must be lying—

 

And then the enemy was upon him again. The one who dealt the fatal blow to Taeyeon raised his sword, smiling, and prepared to inflict the same to fate her master. Yoso saw what was happening and let out a small yelp. He was too far, he couldn’t reach LordStrum in time—

 

The sword swung downwards, straight for LordStrum’s head. The smile on the enemy’s face quickly faded as he realised he couldn’t swing his sword all the way through. LordStrum had risen his hand just in time to catch the blade of the sword, blood oozing out of his palm and down his arm. Struggle as he might, the enemy just could not free his sword from LordStrum’s grasp. LordStrum was simply too strong.

 

LordStrum slowly turned his head upwards to the enemy, fresh red blood still running down his face.

 

“I. Will. Make. You. Pay.”

 

With that, LordStrum started to stand, hurt from multiple attacks from different enemies, yet somehow still finding the strength needed to completely overpower a grown adult. As he rose, he bent the sword backward until it was parallel to the hilt. The enemy stood frozen, paralysed by fear.

 

In one swift movement, LordStrum grabbed the enemy by the cusp of his neck with one hand and raised him up into the air. The enemy, realising what was going to happen, began to struggle, coughing furiously. His comrades, who originally stood still in complete horror, began to rush up to help, swinging their swords in complete futility. LordStrum caught each swing with his other forearm, not even bothering to look at the others. They were flies to him. Revenge for Baeyeon was all he had on his mind.

 

LordStrum gradually began to increase the pressure of his grasp, squeezing his enemy’s skull. The eyes gave way first, slowly beginning to pop out of the head. Next came the cranium, which started to crack. The enemy’s breaths grew shorter and more rapid as his face turned to purple. With a loud “splat”, the enemy’s skull gave way as brain, blood and gore splattered all over LordStrum. LordStrum stood unblinkingly throughout the entire process. Slowly, he turned towards the rest of the enemies, headless corpse still in hand.  

 

“You’re next.”

 

Yoso stood back, not wanting to be caught in the carnage. He knew what happened when someone messes with LordStrum’s things. He had accidentally smudged LordStrum’s signed copy of Girl’s Generation poster once, and for weeks he had to hide in his mom’s closet while he waited for the replacement order to arrive from the United States Postal Service. He always regretted not using Fedex.

 

“HAHH!!!!!” And with a final roar, Super Manas unleashed the lazer, wiping out the rest of the enemies who were still standing. A cheer rose throughout the army as they realised what they have just done. Victory was theirs. Their place in Orbis was secure. The riches of the Fire Nation was theirs.

 

Emperor Manas, back to his original form, walked down the cliff to where Yoso and LordStrum were. LordStrum was kneeling next to his torn Taeyeon doll, gently weeping. Yoso tried again and again to comfort him, but there was no use. The damage was done.

 

Super Manas placed a hand on LordStrum’s shoulder. “My sweet summer child, you have suffered greatly in this war. But fear not. For even in the darkest of nights, there will always be people willing to guide you to safety. We shall be those people. From now on, we will be known, as the Black Knights of Camelot!” proclaimed Emperor Manas as he raised his hand into the air.

 

Yoso whispered a few short sentences into Emperor Mana’s ear.

 

“What? What do you mean the word Camelot is protected by copyright laws? Fine, fine, just Black Knights then.”

 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------THE END------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jackywho

Hello peeps, 

I originally wanted to release the last part of BK origins on the day of the birthday itself, but it's proving harder than I thought it would be. In order to make it epic, I had to write more than I expected. Just to give you guys a range, all previous stories are around 500 words. The current draft for the finale is 1300 words, and I haven't even reached the climax yet. 

Therefore, I ask you all to be a bit more patient as I finish up the story in order to give you guys the best that I can. 

Much love <3

Jackywho

Jackywho

PART 3

 

As Yoso and LordStrum continued on their journey, their numbers began to grow. People who were sympathetic to their cause pledged their loyalty to the kingdom. It also helped that LordStrum promised to give everyone a body pillow in his likeness if you joined. Everyone wanted to be able to say that they have slept with LordStrum.

 

One night, Yoso and LordStrum called for a meeting around the campfire. “Right plebs, we’ve gathered you here today to choose a new name for our kingdom. I personally suggested Baeyeonxstrum4lyfe to Emperor Manas, but obviously he was drunk or something since he rejected my fabulous idea. As we are a democratic group” *snickers*  “we believe that each of you should have the chance to suggest names for our kingdom.”

 

“ME SAY NAME KILLRAPELOOT’’ thundered Jose, a large black man who was known throughout Orbis for smashing people into pulp with his bare fists.

 

LordStrum waved Jose’s suggestion aside. “Your suggestion is like you, Jose. Stupid and stupid. Next.”

 

“How about the Kingdom of Waverly Place?” chimed in Tiber, who was sitting uncomfortably on a log with the broomstick in between his legs.

 

“Hey, your suggestion is similar to your broomstick.”

 

Tiber looked at LordStrum, confused.

 

“Because it belongs up your ass. Next.”

 

“I suggest we name our country the Bank, and charge insanely high rates to our citizens!” purred Zoot, a man who was rather fond of eating burritos.

 

“I suggest you eat a dick. Next.”

 

“Ayy lmao.” said Shifty, an ayylien who only said ayy lmao.

 

“Yeah yeah. Next. What about you Nate, any suggestions?”

 

Nate stared back at LordStrum.

 

LordStrum sighed. “I thought not. Well, looks like no one has any good suggestions here.”, blatantly ignoring other hundreds of people sitting around. “Seems like we are done for the night then. Quick notice, remember to put in your earplugs tonight. Me and Baeyeon have a long night ahead of us.” he said, creepily winking at the Taeyeon blow up doll.

 

Everyone was preparing to go back to their respective tents when the clip-cloping of a horse’s hooves were heard. Emperor Manas rode into the light of the campfire, wind flapping around his majestic white cloak. Yoso and LordStrum immediately dropped to their knees.

 

“So honored. Much happy. Many confused. Wow.” said Yoso, expressing the confusion that both him and LordStrum felt.

 

“We are under attack. The Fire Nation has taken advantage of your absence and are now threatening to destroy what’s left of our kingdom.”panted Emperor Manas, exhausted from the long ride. “I need you to gather up the men and prepare at once. This battle will decide our fate in Orbis. Win, and we forever secure our place in Orbis and of the untold riches of FSA. We must NOT lose!” exalted Emperor Manas.

 

LordStrum looked back at his eyes of his comrades. Their eyes shone with the promise of fame, fortune and a good fight. Everyone's except Nate, who just stared.


“Alright boys, it's time for war.”

@Yosodog @LordStrum @Jose Rodriguez III @Tiber @Zoot @Shifty Stranger @Natinator @manas

Jackywho

PART 2

 

“Ok Yoso, where should we go first?” LordStrum panted, sweat pouring out of every pore of his body as he heaved his Taeyeon blow up doll over his shoulder. They have been wandering for minutes now, with no end in mind.

 

“First Wizard. Very Pew Pew. Much magical. Wow.” Yoso replies, as he strutted forward confidently. As a programming master, he had calculated their path before they even set forth, doing various programming alchemy to make sure that they will have the highest chances of success.  

 

“Hm, a wizard eh? I wonder if he can make my Baeyeon come to life, that way I’ll…” LordStrum’s words were cut off as he roughly shoved his tongue down the blow up doll’s mouth, groping at the doll’s breasts as though he was a housewife testing for the ripeness of a grapefruit. Yoso ignored the scene, having been used to it. He once wrote a programme that allowed the user to type anything to be said in Taeyeon’s voice, but LordStrum hogged his computer so much making the programme say “Give it to me Strummy Wummy, oh yes” that he had no choice but to uninstall the programme.

 

Suddenly, the bushes to their right rustled. Out jumped a skinny white boy, with what looked like a wooden stick in between his legs. “Have you seen the golden snitch?” he said in a thick British accent. “I’ve been looking for it for the past few days now, but it seems to have gone missing. Ah well, would you like to join be for a spot of tea and some delightful scones? I’ve got it all set up right here.”, gesturing towards his bush.

 

“Whoth theth fuckth hare youth?” LordStrum had bitten his tongue when the boy jumped out of the bush, interrupting his fantasy with Taeyeon and is now understandably pissed.

 

“My name is Tiber, and I am a professional Quidditch player!” Tiber announced proudly, patting his stick like he would while riding a horse.

 

“Theth fuckth isth Quddith? Someth kindth of instrument?”

 

“Oh nothing, just a sport that us wizards play.” At the word wizard, LordStrum’s eyes lit up.

 

“Oh fuckth, you’re a withard? Can youth make my Taeyeonth cometh to lithe?”

 

“No silly, I have dedicated my life to the pursuit of Quidditch. I have long traded my magical abilities to the devil to become the best Quidditch player there is! Someday I’ll even rival the legendary seeker, Hairy Potter!” and with this, Tiber began to jump around on his broomstick, seemingly trying to practise some Quidditch maneuvers but never quite making it.

 

Yoso and LordStrum stared at the demented skinny white boy prancing around on a old broomstick that had already lost most of its bristles. Bending down, LordStrum whispered to Yoso.

 

“So whath do youth thinkth?”

 

Yoso raised a questioning eyebrow.

 

“Cocaine or meth?”

 

@Yosodog @LordStrum @Tiber

Jackywho

Preface:

In commemoration of BK's one year anniversary, I will be releasing a story detailing the origins of BK. None of it is actually factually accurate (you can find the history of BK here: http://politicsandwar.wikia.com/wiki/The_Black_Knights) and is written purely for the fun of it. My brain told me not to release it as there will be a high chance of me getting kicked from the alliance because of this, but hey, ayy lmao. There will be 5 parts altogether, and I will release 1 part every 12 hours-ish. The final 2 parts will be uploaded on the actual day of BK's bday party. Without further ado, here it is! 

 

PART 1

 

Emperor Manas sat on his throne, looking down on his only 2 subjects. Yoso the doge and LordStrum the Koreaboo stood before him. He sighed. How did the kingdom end up like this? Just mere months before the Kingdom of Peace and Butterflies stood strong, a role model for the barbaric nations that populated Orbis. It all changed when the Fire Nation attacked, destroying the kingdom like a hot knife through butter(flies). Now, all he is left with is Yoso and LordStrum, both close to useless pieces of shit.

 

“My brethren” he spoke with a deep voice befitting that of an Emperor. “I am certain that you know as well as I that our Kingdom is in bad shape. This is why I must now… GOD DAMN IT STRUM WOULD YOU STOP THAT?!”

 

LordStrum ceased his fapping and looked to his Emperor. “But my liege, I can’t help it. I’m simply irresistible.” he says as he whipped his long hair back like a shampoo commercial. “Look at me, I’m gorgeous!”, gently caressing his reflection in the mirror that he was fapping to.

 

“Anyway… I am sending you both on a quest. We need men to rebuild our kingdom and revitalise our position within Orbis. Furthermore, you two will also come up with a new name for our Kingdom on your journey. The Kingdom of Peace and Butterflies simply does not pack the same punch it used to have.”

 

“Such quest. Many exciting. Very honorable. Wow.” Yoso replied, bowing deeply before his Emperor. LordStrum gave a small bow, since he couldn’t bend that far while fapping.

 

“Now go! Onwards! God speed! Adios! Have a safe flight! 一路顺风! GTFO! Get yo ass out of the door!”


“Alright, alright, we get the message” LordStrum mumbles as he zips up his pants and exited the king’s private bathroom with Yoso.

 

@manas @LordStrum @Yosodog

Jackywho

Prolouge

Prologue: 

"cam on, u ar alrmost thar, just push rit oute! " 

"CAN'T YOU GOD DAMN SEE I'M TRYING?!?! HOW BOUT YOU STOP THAT BITCHING OF YOURS AND GET ME SOME KOOL AID AND CHICKEN?" 

"ok ok, carm drown, i will get rit for you..." 

Mr Lang backed out of the bushes and moved towards the pack, lying under the light of the full moon. 

"Hey anrybody got the cool aid and the ricken? She Nay Nay wants it veri bad." 

The biggest of the wolves, Daehkcid, stood up and snarled at Mr Lang. "Piss off Lang, we ain't got shit for you. Go get your own kool aid and "ricken"." he says, looking at the rest of his pack. The pack laughed and started to chant, "ricken, ricken".

"You guys no my engerish is not veri gd, prease no make fun of me" Mr Lang murmurs to himself. This was not the first time he received such abuse from the pack. Ever since he joined, he had always been made fun of. He had originally left his eastern pack to try and make a better life for himself in the famed western packs. His family had begged him not to leave, but he, enchanted by the stories, had ignored the pleas of his parents. After travelling for miles without proper food and water, he finally found this pack which was willing to accept him. Unbeknownst to him, the pack only let him tag along to make fun of him. His role in the pack was to be the punching bag, the wolf that others can bully to make them feel better about themselves. He worked hard in the pack, always the first to put himself in danger against a stag so that the others are able to sneak up and take the stag down, hoping against hope that one day he will be accepted. However, the only wolf who showed him any kind of care and concern was She Nay Nay, one of the most eligible wolferettes in the pack. Maybe it was out of sympathy, but She Nay Nay protected Mr Lang, and made sure that no wolf lays a paw on him. Mr Lang was enchanted by her, a beautiful big black bitch, and before long, she was pregnant with his puppies. It was a joyous day, and Mr Lang hoped that this would finally allow him to be accepted by his pack. However, it seemed to have only made matters worse, as the pack, under Daehkcid's influence, started to distance themselves further and further away. 

Mr Lang shook his head. This is no time for such thoughts. She Nay Nay is in labour, and she needs his help. Mr Lang walked away from the pack. He knew a road nearby which always had some chickens crossing it. It's late, but if he got lucky, he could still get some chicken for She Nay Nay. 

Suddenly, he heard She Nay Nay yelp in pain. "Orh noe!" He thought to himself, and sprinted towards the bushes where She Nay Nay was lying. Unpleasant thoughts began to form in his mind. What if the puppy died while She Nay Nay was giving birth? What if She Nay Nay dies in the process? What if M. Night Shyamalan decides to make another Avatar movie? 

Mr Lang burst into the bush, and stopped in his tracks. She Nay Nay laid on the ground, back against him, panting. There was no puppy in sight. "Buddha bless me..." Mr Lang thought, his worst dreams having become reality. 

It was then when he spotted a white head behind She Nay Nay. As he walked around her, he saw the most adorable little puppy. It was fully white, and was suckling at the skin on his mother's elbow, attempting to coax milk out of what he thought was a tit. 

Mr Lang walked over and licked the puppies forehead. The puppy gave a start, and looked back at his papa, giving him the derp face. Mr Lang laughed. 

"Wat to rame u..." Mr Lang looked around. It was tradition from his pack to name the new puppies after something that was seen in the proximity of where the puppy was born. Mr Lang looked up and smiled knowingly. 

"Ah, I noe. Ri shall rame u..."

In true Lion King fashion, he stood on his hindlegs and lifted the new born pup up against the backdrop of the full moon.

"Moon moon."

And the puppy pissed over his father's face. 

"GOD DAMN IT MOON MOON" 

 

Sign in to follow this  
×