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Turn back now if you don't want to see boobies.
The long awaited sql to my best series ever, "The Quest for the Perfect Tits." You can view that thread here.
First of all, let's get something out of the way. We in no way discriminate against fake tits. We're simply looking for the pair of tits. It doesn't matter whether or not nature created them or your favorite plastic surgeon, boobs are boobs.
We're going to go ahead and take a look at one of the most famous Reddit girls, /u/exilevilify (she also went by unicornblood12). There are a ton of her pictures out there so here's a link to one of the best albums I could find of her.
Let's start. This girl was truly bless and apparently, they're real. She posted some gif of her bouncing them around (which I can't find) and it seemed like they were real. However, I'm not expert at fake tits but I'm gonna believe these are real.
Here's our first image. As you can see, perky, nipple coloration is amazing, and the nipple size is also right where it should be.
She's not even supporting them up at all and they're still holding strong. Fake?????? Don't tell me that or I'll lose hope.
Now here we get a bit different lighting. As you can see her tits are fairly veiny, which isn't horrible at all. However, it does deduct a point.
Now before you call me a shallow ass hole, you have to remember that this is the quest for the perfect tits. PERFECT. Tits aren't all about just the tits, the surrounding area should also be great. Her body is really good, however it's not perfect. She doesn't have that great curves and she doesn't have that line going down the middle. Not sure what that's called... it's like in the middle of her abs and goes down to her belly button.
Here's a full frontal of her body. You're definitely going for the boobs and not the body. Don't get me wrong, good body, but not perfect.
Underboob and the camera isn't even under the boob? Yup, pretty good. They really look fake here, but I'm still holding on to hope. In fact, these look like completely different tits but I can assure you they're the same pair.
Not a fan of the swimsuit, but I am a fan of the boobs.
So let's get to our conclusion. I give this girl a 9.3/10 for her tits. They're perfectly perky, her nipple shape and color are pretty much perfect, though they're really veiny.
Unfortunately, someone found out who this girl was and blackmailed her and she hasn't returned to reddit ever since. What a shame. rip in peace exilevilify.
And to all the haters out there, fuck youuuuuu
Stay tuned, next time we examine pretty good tits.
Let's be real, you didn't read anything I typed smh
The Focus on Politics Blogs will be serious blogs on a certain alliance. I will just do these because I feel like it. Enjoy reading. You may learn something
Guardian is an alliance which can be considered one of the most influential. Some consider them the most influential. But why?
Is it their upper tier? Well they do have that. They have that upper tier which makes other alliances cringe because it is not matched (plus they have other upper tier friends). They also were a main proponent of the victory in the first major global war, The Marionette War.
Guardian's leadership is also considered as one of the smartest groups of people. Prefontaine is not someone to mess around with and is one of the highest regarded leaders next to Kurdanak, Ogaden, and Pfeiffer. Pre has lead guardian well in his time.
What else though? I would say their general FA position and respect allows them to be feared. They have SK, TEst, and a few others that lurk around them quite often and will help them in wars, such as the recent GPA war. All of these are considered to be some of the most influential and most militaristic alliances. They also hold good FA positions individually.
One last thing to note is that they are not the most powerful in the game, but are one of the main powers. They are the most powerful upper tier alliance, however their dominance only exists up there. They have some medium tier that are strong, but many other powers can match that.
Hope you enjoyed my short analysis. Maybe you learned something from it idk
tl;dr for strum: Guardian fucks shit up in the upper tier and is not some little shit
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[5:38pm] Zoot: Since Strum won't be a hard ass. IF YOU FUCKING WASTE YOUR SPY OPS ON THAT MENSA SPY SHIT WHILE WE'RE AT WAR I'LL HAVE YOU THROWN OUT SO FAST THE DOOR WON'T HIT YOU IN THE ASS, IT'LL HIT YOU IN THE FACE!
[5:38pm] LordStrum: I thought that was implied zoot
[5:38pm] LordStrum: come on :v
[5:38pm] LordStrum: also >implying I'm not a hard ass
[5:38pm] LordStrum: do you even read my hate speeches
[5:38pm] Zoot: You mean your emo whining?
[5:39pm] LordStrum: damn
[5:39pm] LordStrum: DAMN
[5:39pm] LordStrum: DAMN
[5:39pm] LordStrum: i'm hurt
[5:39pm] LordStrum: time to go make a blog post about it
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Lets Create a story....
A long long time ago in a distant land far far away lived an adventurous Lord named Farquad. Farquad met this wonderful woman named Elizabeth Macbeth and she wanted, the brave, handsome, chivalrous Farquad to rid the land from the tyranny of the vile wretched scumbag known as Emperor Yosodog.
Now Emperor Yosodog..... (NOW ITS YOUR TURN!) Describe Yosodog in detail? How Wretched is he? Help me create this glorious story!
GREAT I EMPIRE completes 150 days !
KOI ISLAND: Great I Empire today marked its 150th day by opening two shopping malls at one of its Metropolitan city "KOI Trade Center".Shopping malls were open by Rahul around 6 30 pm(IST).
3 cities to be recognized as metropolitan cities !
ABAM: King has announced to recognizance 3 cities as Metropolitan cities of Great I Empire in a event held to celebrate the 150th day of Nation. KOI Island,ABAM and KOI Trade center are the three cities which is going to be recognized as Metropolitan cities of the country.King also so assured that these three cities will have special build up in coming days to make all three cities to reach 100% in commerce.
Empire's Finance capital inaugurated!
DELHI:King inaugurated a long awaited national finance center at Delhi! This is going to function as financial capital of the country, and Nations reserve bank is to be situated here.
Empire's revenue has doubled up!
DELHI: Empire's Revenue doubles up, as King said in a inauguration function of Great I Empire's Finance capital at Delhi,Nation's daily revenue has grown from 0.3 million to 0.8 million after the inauguration on 7th city in the country.
Nation's GDP Per Capita touches $ 3000 !
DELHI: Nation has reached the GDP PER CAPITA target a 50 days before the scheduled date.World's economist have said this was possible for the nation only because of its far visioned economic policies.
King releases next 150 days plan for the nation.
KOI ISLAND: King today released the plan for nation's progress in next 150 days,in that he have planned to create 5 more cites and to increase the infrastructure level of all cities at
2000.He have also assured the all cities at the empire will be protected from missiles,as the national project is to be opened in 40-50 days and initially 2 missiles will be commissioned in same period.Also in next 150 days he said empires score will be taken above 1500.
Empire reaches top 10 in alliance!
DELHI: Empire is now in top 10 in alliance and international economist have termed the nation as the world's and alliance's fastest growing economy.
On September 19, 2015 the Canadians of the Holy Britannian Empire assumed control under the rule of II Emperor Lelouch Vi Britannia.
The statistics before the Canadian Era as follows:
97 steel created evert day
56 food produced every day
2 uranium produced everyday
The Canadian era was mostly a sense of name change from Holy Britannia to Holy Canada, however, war struck 1 month later on October 18,2015. The standing army for the war was roughly:
On October 18, 2015 at 2:50 am ( October 17, 1997 11:50 PM Orbis Date) The Holy Canadian Empire engaged in its first war under its new name. On October 17, 1997 at 11:50 Pm Orbis date the Black Knights declared war on The Dutch East India Trading Company, and as a knight under the Black Knights the nation was obliged to follow orders.
Shortly after the Declaration of War the Holy Canadian Empire conducted an air-strike on New Alba's city called Dublin and followed with a ground assault. Without any defence the operations costed very little casualties to the Empire. However in Tanarax's Mansh an air-strike took out enemy aircraft and tanks, and a massive ground attack commenced which followed with an Empire win.
The New Alba war was a victory total damage received was only 467 soldiers, since the area was undefended. Over 204 infrastructure was destroyed, 100 of that was done by using the airforce.
The Tanarax War was declared a success by the Holy Canadian Empire, however official reports on damage and such were lost after the nation disappeared.
Total Deaths 467 soldiers (Empire) 204 Infrus (100 air)
A few days after the beginning the Black Knights declared a free-for-all on the Brotherhood of Clouds on the 21 of October (Original declaration was made around the 20th)
The Holy Canadian Empire quickly took its forces from the Dutch East India Trade toward the new enemy. The Holy Canadian Empire attacked Meria and The Arabic Islamic Cooperative. The AIC was actually involved way before regarding an "accident in a previous log. The final BOC target was The Fallen Vale which was a bore attack as it was merely ground attacks.
The Meria war was won very easily as the enemy was not as strong as the Empire. However, most of the damage dished out was on the ground. The only air combat was trigged by enemy jets attempting to bomb the Empire's cities, however they failed. The empire returned hitting the jets and destroying them and bombing a city. Ground forces quickly took over even after being hit a few times, but all victories was with the Empire. The Empire lost some infrastructure, but the enemy lost a lot more
Meria: 73,077 Soldiers/ 495 Tanks/ 144 Aircraft (138 Infrus (9.11 air) )
Holy Canadian Empire: 18,744/ 250 Tanks/ 113 Aircraft (12 infrus)
The Arabic Islamic Cooperative war was more of bombing raids and ground attacks. Ground battles were fought, the Empire never lost, as well as air attacks were a huge success. The first step was ground, air and then it was taking out the enemy ships. There wasnt much effort to stop the Empire and thus the war ended short, the AIC almost on the brink of destruction
AIC: 19,200 soldiers/ 250 tanks/ 111 aircraft/ 10 ships (159 infrus (70 air) )
Holy Canadian Empire: 6,032 soldiers/ 88 tanks/ 24 aircraft
The Fallen Vale War: Less of a war and more of ground attack on a nation defending itself. The Empire being much stronger and active was able to use tactics and overcome the enemy
The Fallen Vale: 20,735 soldiers/ 1 tank (47 infrus)
The Holy Canadian Empire: 4,656 soldiers/ 29 tanks
The Brotherhood of Clouds surrendered to the $yndicate aka the Black Knights allies on October 26 and thus peace was agreed between the battling sides, however the damage had been done and the Black Knights and Holy Canadian Empire turned its attention back to the DEIC. After that two victories were given easily to the Empire through almost no resistance as the DEIC was being beaten down by other members of the Black Knights. However, the Indonesian war was the bloodiest
The Beatdown double wars were the Holy Canadian Empire vs Cothroime and Loughotopia who lost very easily and provided spoils of war to the Empire granted under the Defence administration
Total Deaths: Cothroime and Loughotopia: 240 infrastructure
Holy Canadian Empire: 578 soldiers
Indonesian Blood War. Its been recorded the bloodiest was in The Holy Canadian/Britannian Empire history was the Saturn was which costed 1.1 million in damage, 40k soldiers died and 600 tanks were lost. However, this war makes the Saturn war look like a raid. Beginning with a quick sweep of air and ground the Empire had trouble getting rid of the enemy ships which keep getting replenished. The Empire escaped one blockaded and nearly starved from another one. This war destroyed all acting jets and the military was re-built within a day after expiation. The war began on 23 of October and ended on the 28. Although it was a tie, damage wise, the Empire won.
Total Deaths Indonesia: 88,613 soldiers/ 2,959 tanks/ 197 aircraft/ 10 ships (344 infrus (100 air)
Holy Canadian Empire: 36,899 soldiers/ 2,486 tanks/ 212 aircraft (190 infrus)
Spoils: 759 K
The next three wars were with The League of Nations, Soviet Socialist Republics, and Savensarai. However the last of the three was the only defensive war for the Empire, and of course the Empire sent them packing. Only the Soviet war was a Victory, as on November 5 a No-Beige act was implemented so the Empire bombed the other two nations hard and long for 2 days, for on November 6, close to midnight was peace agreed.
League of Nations: 21,891 soldiers/ 127 tanks/(373 infrus (180 air)
Soviet Socialist Republics: 0 (219 infrastructure)
Savensarai: 17,107 soldiers/ 32 tanks/ 59 aircraft/ (559 infrus(385 air)
Spoils: 6.5 million
The total number of deaths for the enemies is: 261,873 soldiers/ 3972 tanks/ 543 aircraft/ 29 ships/ Money Lost:11.4 Million/ 59.5 Million in damages
The total number of Holy Canadian soldiers is: 104,650 soldiers/ 2885 tanks/ 414 aircraft/ 0 ships/ Money 62 thousand/ 17.7 Million in damages
Enemy infrastructure destroyed: 3588. Over 760 of that was dished out by the Holy Canadian Airforce.
Holy Canadian infrastructure lost: 525
The war ended with a BK victory.
After loosing so much in the war the only thing that saved the empire from poverty was the fact the Empire's military held out while keeping the income at a steady 500k for the whole war. So along with the funds that were saved and the spoils of war the Empire was extremely wealthy.
However the Canadian Era came to and end on November 7, 2015. The following is the final statistics of how much changed during this era.
121 steel created every day
14 food produced every day
4 uranium produced every day.
The next era...Is the New Britannian Era
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You want to be a Jedi-Master or Sith-Lord? Be afraid, the russians will kill you all.
nuff said ^^
And if you know the problem that somebody ayy lmaod on your couch, then i have now the perfect solution for you:
Works 100%!!!! With another video from this guy I managed to erase all my SO debts!!!111
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Here at the Working Rights Association (over at the PnW test server), we encourage that all alliances that don't practice witchcraft and capitalism unite together to defeat those that do. This is why we have an MDoAP with La Familia Crime Syndicate. We've got each other's backs in this tough recession. Join us today!
Disclaimer: Witchcraft and capitalism are only shunned within the confines of the test server
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Because I felt bad for procrastinating so much and felt that the story was a bit incomplete, here's an additional unplanned segment!
LordStrum lay in bed, staring at his ceiling. The war ended 3 days ago, and the entire nation was still busy celebrating. However, he just couldn’t bring himself to celebrate. When he lost Baeyeon, he didn’t just lose his blow up doll. He also lost his humor and his ability to smile. He couldn’t even summon enough energy to fap to his reflection in the mirror.
A knock came on the door. “Go away,” muttered LordStrum, covering himself up with his blanket. Yoso had came multiple times in the past few days, bringing him food and trying to cheer him up with little effect. Doesn’t he know? All LordStrum wants right now was to be left alone.
A second knock came. “GO AWAY.” LordStrum said in a louder voice. Gosh, some people just can’t take a hint.
A third knock came. LordStrum was just about to shout when he heard a sweet, high pitched female voice ringing out.
“Strummy Wummy, will you rub my tummy?”
Wait, was that Taeyeon’s voice?
LordStrum ran to the door and threw it wide open. In front of his stood Yoso. But that wasn’t what mattered. It was what stood behind him that counted.
“IS THAT A ROBOTIZED TAEYEON 240 VOLT FUCKMASTER PRO 5000 BLOWUP LATEX DOLL WITH 6 SPEED PULSATING VAGINA, ELASTICIZED ANUS WITH NON-DRIP SEMEN COLLECTION TRAY, TOGETHER WITH AN OPTIONAL BUILT IN REALISTIC ORGASM SCREAM SURROUND SOUND SYSTEM?”
Yoso nodded and smiled.
“HOLY SHIT DUDE, THAT THING COSTS THOUSANDS.”
Yoso nodded, not smiling this time.
“Shit dude, that’s amazing. Thanks man.”
Yoso held up a paw. He ran behind the doll and pulled out a present.
“Woah, another gift?” LordStrum said excitedly as he tore it open.
Inside, he found his old Taeyeon doll, badly stitched up across the middle.
“Much paws. Hard stitch. Bad job. Wow.” Yoso looked down, seemingly ashamed of his work.
LordStrum said nothing. He simply bent down and gave Yoso a massive hug.
Yoso patted LordStrum’s back awkwardly, not knowing what to do.
LordStrum broke off and looked at Yoso, smiling. “What do you say we try out the new doll together?”
Yoso fist bumped LordStrum and ran into the bedroom, where everyone in the castle could hear them for the rest of the night, proving that the optional realistic orgasm scream surround sound was well worth the extra price.
Three days had past since Strum accepted the proposal that would change his life forever.
Jimmy and Strum were walking through the seemingly endless desert, and they were running out of supplies.
"Where the hell are we headed?" Strum said while panting and impatient.
"You will see in due time, son. In due time." Jimmy replied, while also panting.
Jimmy reached into his travel sack and pulled out his canteen. He opened the lid and hovered it over his dry lips. One single drop came out.
Jimmy had a panicked look on his face because he knew that if they didn't find a water spout soon, they would perish.
Jimmy and Strum climbed over a desert mound and saw grass and shimmering lights. Both of the men's faces light up with pure joy.
"Is that what I think it is!" Exclaimed Strum.
"It looks like a city to me" Said Jimmy while concealing his happiness.
Strum started running towards the city and old man Jimmy followed.
The doors to the settlement were wide open, they appeared to be welcoming any travelers and merchants.
The two men looked around and spotted a sleek young man holding some gold coins.
Strum walked up to the man while Jimmy stayed behind.
"Hello sir, do you have any water?" Strum said, obviously desperate for the need of the lovely clear nectar.
"Hello, my name is Psweet, but unfortunately I do not have any water, but I can offer you a loan of 100 gold coins." Said the mysterious sleek man.
Strum's eyes lit up, but he knew he didn't have a job and he would surely not be able to pay such a hefty price back.
"What's the catch?" replied Strum.
"There is no catch sir, I just want to help out a fellow traveler. The only catch is, if you can't pay it back I will execute you." Replied Psweet with a large demonic smirk on his face.Jimmy eavesdropped on the conversation and whispered into Strum's ear, "Do it, I will find a way to pay him back."
Strum accepted the money and started walking with Jimmy down the large settlement.
First they stopped at a tavern and got drunk, then they found a brothel and entered it.
The man at the door was rugged and mean looking.
"My name's Quasar, how may I help you fine gentleman tonight?"
Strum mumbled something incomprehensible and Jimmy didn't say a word.
"I've got just the right thing for you!" Exclaimed Quasar. He then brought out a Korean woman.
"Her name is Taeyeon. She likes you, she's only five gold coins for tonight. The best part about her is that she has such a nice singing voice that you will cum when you hear it!" Said the perverted looking Quasar
Strum handed over the coins and also paid for Jimmy's whore, who he entered one of the rooms with.
Taeyeon grabbed Strum by the hand and pulled her into one of the rooms. She pushed him down on the bed and started pulling down his trousers. Strum was a virgin and was very hesitant in having sex.
"Wait!" Strum yelled, petrified.
Taeyeon took her hands off of Strum. She was rather confused at why he yelled at her.
"Sing for me." Strum said wanting to preserve his virginity.
"당신은 정말 당신을 사랑 해요 , 너무 잘 생긴 입니다. 내 남편 과 나는 당신에게 아이를 부여합니다 바랍니다 . 나는 칠년 여기 갇혀 있다 , 나는 매 순간 싫어. 나의 용감한 사람이 저를 데려가" Sang Taeyeon.
Strum did not cum to her voice but he did fall in love with her after the first words came out of her mouth.
"I think I love you.." Strum said with a blushed face.
Taeyeon couldn't speak very good English but she understood it very well.
She jumped on Strum and kissed him on the lips. "Take me away please. I love you too." Taeyeon said happily.
Strum left the room without Taeyeon and walked into Jimmy's room.
"AH! AH! AH! AH!" The brunette exclaimed while bouncing up and down on Jimmy's dick.
Strum walked over to Jimmy and noticed he was passed out.
"What the fuck?"
Strum slapped Jimmy.
"huh, huh, what?" Jimmy said as he awoke out of his slumber.
Jimmy looked up at the girl that was riding his dick.
"What the fuck?" he said.
Jimmy pushed her off of his dick and she hit her head against a table and cracked her skull open.
Strum and Jimmy were both petrified.
"We need to get out of here now!" Jimmy yelled.
He pulled Strum by the shirt and pulled him out of the room and into the hallway of the brothel.
"Wait! I need to grab something" Strum yelled with distress.
"Hurry the fuck up, I don't want to be executed for murder!" Jimmy replied.
Strum walked into one of the rooms and took a Korean girl with him.
"Why the hell are you bringing this whore?" Jimmy said with disgust.
Strum punched Jimmy and added, "She's my girlfriend you inconsiderate dickhead. She's coming with us!"
"Alright then, but if she steals your money don't tell me I didn't warn you."
Jimmy and Strum fled the brothel and found a place to stay within the town.
The town was so big they didn't think they were going to be caught and executed. We do not know how this story will play out.... Only time may tell.
TO BE CONTINUED
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So I've gotten tired of this. Seriously. So I've decided to keep a tally.
Every time someone says "Join BK" or something along that line, I'm adding one. When the counter reaches above 20 then I won't even consider joining BK again. No joke, because if this is how BK treats people that aren't in their alliance then it's not an alliance worth joining. Go ahead, act pissed off that I posted this.
Lyre - I'm obviously the leader
Drogo - Have you seen him? BK ET? The war? Bloodthirstiness? Game of Thrones?
Who Me - "Antisocial Evil Bastard"
Zoot - Head of Econ and the smartest guy ever <3
Justakittywithabox - She's always near the Doctor
ShiftyStranger - Considering the speed in which he makes memes, yah.
Yosodog - LOOKAT HIS CUTE CHUBBY FACE AND EARS
Trofimowen / Peacity - I bet you $50 that he would somehow manage to offend and/or annoy brainless zombies into wanting to kill him in particular
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She brushed away his hair to look into those beautiful eyes. She shivered as he looked straight into her. It was as if he could stare into her very being.
He took her hand and placed it away from his face, turned and walked out of their home.
As the door slammed shut, Delilah collapsed on the floor. Her long hair getting wet with the flowing be tears, she thinks to herself, 'How did we end up here?' She gathered her strength so she could stand. Unsteadily she walked to her bedroom, and proceeded to curl up in her bed. The sheets still smelled of him. Who was she kidding, the place was completely him.
After a few hours, Delilah finally settled into a long sleep.
Finn took one last look at the place he had made his home, and walked away with a sigh. 'Can this even be fixed,' he wondered. He thought how crazy things had been over the years.
The love they had for each other, but also the fights. The words that could never be unsaid. The hurt they had caused each other. He touched his face where her hand had been, surprised to see he had been crying.
Finn got into his car, and drove until he couldn't anymore. He came across a random motel, it looked horrible but a bed would be better than sleeping in his car. As he parked, he drifted away in thought.
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A/N: I know poetry isn't a short story but screw you this is my blog and I do what I want with it. I'm more freestyle so that's a heads up. Enjoy some culture every once in a while. Also think this will be the last work involving Maddela for a bit. Emphasis on think.
Dark Maiden's Guide
Choosing exile over a pardon for a crime she was tricked into commiting.
She became a guiding hand in the dark of her mother's wrath.
Freeing drow that wish to return to the surface and embrace the light. Even if it was a bit harsh on their white or red eyes.
Fight the battle of those who try to undermine the Dark Maiden's guide.
But not always one with blades and blood although the Dark Maiden knows that will come. But one of kindness for all as that is her true goal.
To help build bridges between the drow and surface world. Knowing her mother's web has played a part in burning them all.
Your looks will cause the surface to fear and run, but the Dark Maiden encourages to carry on.
Practice what you preach is what should be done as a way to prove them all wrong.
And when her mother's spider horde charges forth, fear not as you pick up the sword to fight. As The Dark Maiden will be there to guide the blade's strike.
Remember this as you dance for her at night. Remember the Dark Maiden's Guide.
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Brahs, u wont belve dis. I wus abducted by guis in masks and stuf. I dunt know where I am and I am scurd. Oh sht ngga they are coming. [Hides in room marked "Safe Place *No rapes happen here*]
K i tink im safe, the room said its a safe place and I wont get raped... whatever dat means... i forgut 2 tell u im 3 yrs old and I found this lite machine that givs ability 2 speak without actually speaking. itz cool.
Anyway theses menz are mean and they took me away from mum and that made me mad so i tryed 2 kik the bad man but tat made him mad and now i here. I'm hearing noises behind me and im scurd, did safe room lie 2
me. My mum told me nevar 2 lie. the room must of nevar listen 2 my mum. OH SHITQAGFSSDASDASDASDASA. OH SHT NIGAGAGSDAGSDADADSADASDASDASDARAPERARPERAPERAPERAPERAPEGDAFDSF
Hello. This child is my son and he is trying to get out of a punishment. There will be a poll asking how we should punish him more. Trust me these are all humane and he will not be dead and his body wont be
tossed in a river within 48 hours of this post.
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I just want to start this rant by saying that there are two types of social justice. There’s the social justice that I believe in, then there’s the wrong kind of social justice.
If you have a Facebook account (which you most likely do), you’ve probably come across pages like BuzzFeed and AJ+. If you enjoy these pages, stop reading now you panzee.
I’ve personally blocked these kinds of pages simply because they were spamming my feed and I was getting tired of their shit. Every time I stopped to look at one of their videos that seemed interesting, it went one of two ways. One way was me saying “Oh, I guess that’s an okay recipe.” The other way was “Who the fuck is running this page? This is trash.” I did you guys a favor and unblocked several pages in order to look up what they’re posting about these days. I can say with utmost certainty I was extremely disappointed. To sum up these pages, I’ll give you one single sentence, because just one sentence is enough for me to describe these pieces of shit. Here it goes: Pages full of anti-wite, anti-male, anti-trump, social justice warrior hippy dippy bullshit speckled with stupid quizzes, mediocre recipes and a bunch of hipster crap. BuzzFeed is a joke! AJ+ is a joke! Daily Mail is a joke! Diply is a joke! Offbeat is a joke! Fucking goddammit! I’m sick of seeing this shit because they cut videos in a way that makes politicians look bad, they manipulate everyone into thinking white males are garbage, their quizzes are written by morons, half their posts don’t mean a goddamn thing and their lists are so fucking redundant! Half of these pages consider themselves “news” when in reality it’s just an outlet for idiots and hipsters to band together and support the weak-minded shitfaces that are as easily entertained as 2-year-olds.
We’re being overrun by political correctness and shitty sources of entertainment! Not to mention that Canada has the most politically correct Prime Minister it's ever had who allowed M-103 to happen! Now it’s illegal for me to say that I have a problem with Islam as an organized religion! I have a fucking problem with every organized religion! There are so many holes in religion it looks like swiss fucking cheese!
Anyway, back to the matter at hand. I mentioned at the beginning of the rant that I believe in social justice. Yes, that’s true. I believe in equality between all people. I don’t specify any one sex or race, I simply hate everybody equally. Because everyone sucks, be it one way or another. I know I suck, but that’s why I’m better than a lot of people. I know my weaknesses. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m an asshole. Look, I believe in that people run this world and people make money and money makes the world go ‘round. Sad to say it, but it’s true. If you have no money, you have close to no chance of being successful. That’s how this works. It’s been that way for a long time. Well, a long time relevant to the evolution of humans. The creation of currency fucked us over. And because I believe this, people call me pessimistic or a dick. But I’m getting off topic again.
I took a long look at the Daily Mail, a source of news that was once respectable. I’ll go ahead and read one of their headlines to you. “Megan Gale shares first pic of growing baby bump”. Not enough cringe for you? Okay. Here’s another. “Kim transforms into Virgin Mary for new kimoji (but fans aren’t happy)”. Oh, how about this piece of important news? “Kim Kardashian wriggles around in skimpy bikini in very sultry video”. “Popping out! Ireland Baldwin suffers nip slip in skimpy thong bikini”. I’m not making this shit up! This is real! This is what the Daily Mail is posting! You know what I have to say about this? Who the fuck cares?! Celebrity news isn’t news! It’s dumb gossip that should be kept off news pages! If the Daily Mail stopped posting this crap, they might turn out to be respectable again! I bet their motto is “Daily Mail: Where you can see Kim’s bikini next to an article of a police shooting”. Actually, that’s catchy. I like it. Someone do me a favor and contact the Daily Mail. I bet they’d like to hear feedback from me. Maybe I can be a writer for them. First article: “Fuck everyone. Everyone fucking sucks and I'm looking to get a quick paycheck for writing a shitty article”. Yep. I’d fit right in.
Well, I’m getting tired of writing about this shit, so I’ll just add one more thing in. Quizzes. Quizzes are the bane of my fucking existence. They’re poorly put together, they’re filled with ads, they’re a cheap way for pages to post on your page because people don’t know about privacy settings and restrictions, and they’re the dumbest thing since the song “Sugar, sugar” by the Archies. You can’t guess my age based on your dirt simple history questions. You can’t determine my education level based on what foods I eat. I don’t want to know what celebrity I look like. And I certainly don’t want to know what superhero I’d be based on my colour preference! Fuck! Fucking fuckers! How does this happen?! How does social media get this bad?! How are people entertained by this shit?! It’s just a bunch of failing writers and high school dropouts writing shitty articles and quizzes for a quick buck! They’re not talented! They’re not smart! They’re fucking flannel-lumberjack-wearing, smoothie-cocktail-drinking, gym-selfie-enthusiast fucks! Fuck this! What the fuck?!
Well, thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed me freaking the fuck out. Do you agree or disagree? Let me know. Cool, cya.
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